Welcome to our corner of the web! Here you will learn about our family and our journey of a family member adoption. In July of 2010, after 9 years of trying to add to our family and 5 years after we started our adoption journey, we welcomed baby Emily Rose. Emily's birth mom is Sharon's adopted sister. We look forward to someday adopting more children but for now, we are enjoying our time together as a family of 4!

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Placement after parenting... Advice?

Dearest Blog readers and adoption friends,
This morning I got a message from an old friend of mine. She and her husband are married, with 3 children. The youngest (we'll call him Colby) being just a few months old. We'll call them Kayla & Shawn (Kayla, Shawn & Colby are not their real names).

Kayla & Shawn are great parents. I have known them since Kayla was pregnant with their oldest. Now they have 3 children. Due to circumstances beyond their control, they are unable to care for all 3 children and feel it best that they place their youngest Colby, for adoption with some friends. These friends have been trying for years to have a baby and have been unsuccessful. So Kayla & Shawn have made the heart wrenching decision to do what they feel is best for their son, at the same time blessing the lives of their friends.

So my question to you dear readers, what advice would you give them as they start this process? Kayla asked me for advice and honestly, I am at a loss for what to tell them. My heart is breaking that they are having to make this decision. I also commend them for doing what they feel is best for their son.

Let me state that I am not looking for angry comments here. They are already heartbroken enough and don't need people lashing out at them. Put yourself in their shoes. Any angry comments will be deleted. These people are very dear to me and I can and will stand up for them.

That being said, Birthparent friends, what advice would you have for them? Adoptive parent friends, what advice would you have for them? Friends who were adopted, what advice would you have for them?


Megan @ Apple House Revival said...

There is a book called Rosie's Family that addresses placement after parenting. It is a children's book, but is very powerful for adults too. Sharon, I would like to buy it for them if they will let me. Message me their address or yours if you would rather have it come to you and you can give it to them.
My heart breaks for them and overflows at their courage and love for their son.

Robyn :) said...

I am none of those things, but I just wanted to give my opinion. I think those parents are incredibly courageous and unselfish. I admire them for wanting what is best for their son, even if that means placing him with someone else.

Kim said...

I am with Robyn. I don't fit on your list. But being honest in a letter to the child and being as honest as you can age apporpriately I think would be important for the other children. But all that being said, once you and God have made that decision don't let others remarks no matter how well intended hurt your or question your decision. Stand for what you feel is right and live with pride and ownership of that decision. Though it may not appear to be the right decision to some does not stop it from being the right decision for your child so continue to stand up for your child as you are choosing to do now. Good luck and may God be with you and all those who are affected by this choice for your son.

LisaAnne said...

This could describe me. And I sure have alot to offer with regard to how it has impacted me as a person.

I also have another friend who was in the EXACT same position, married, parenting and faced with an unplanned pregnancy she could not fathom.

Please feel free to forward my information to them. I would love to visit with that momma.