As I sat there in the quite of her room, no other babies crying, no monitors beeping, a low buzz of the nurses talking, with my baby girl cuddled in my arms, my thoughts went back to that question. "Is she worth it?" I started to cry as I realized, she is more then worth it. We waited 9 years for this little one. All the heartache, all the tears, all the stress, all the worry. Every. last. bit. of it. has been worth it. I would wait another 9 years if it meant being Emily's mommy. I would wait a lifetime, if it meant being Emily's mommy. I would spend months in the nicu if it meant being her mommy. I would spend years there, if it meant being her mommy. Is she worth it? YES! With every inch of my being, YES!
There was a time when I never thought this day would come. And so many of my friends are out there right now, wondering if their day will come. My answer to you my friends is, I know what it's like. I know what it's like to jump every time the phone rings. To wonder, every time you check your email, if this will be the day, if that will be the email, if this phone call will be the one. I know what it's like to cry so many tears that you wonder if you will ever stop. I know what it's like to feel like giving up, wondering if any of this is worth it. My answer is, the tears of sorrow, will stop, and be replaced with tears of peace and joy. Someday, that phone call will be the one, or that email will be the one. That day will come. And when it does, everything, will be worth it!
My thoughts then turned to K... Our sweet angel. I look at Emily and I see her. I spoke to Emily of the immense love that K has for her. How much she will always love this little one that she gave life to. I spoke to her about how strong Emily herself is, and how she gets her strength from K who is perhaps one of the strongest people I know. We love you K! Thank you so much for giving us the gift of parenthood. We will make you proud.