The Sealing and Blessing.

Well, we did it! Saturday we were sealed to our beautiful baby girl! It was a beautiful moment. The day started out rocky. As usual we were running late. I never used to be late, but it seems since moving back to Utah, I am always running late. Saturday was no exception. So, after checking and double checking to make sure we had everything we needed, I drove like crazy to get to Provo on time. I didn't speed, I just drove crazy (while not breaking any laws of course, but I only just barely didn't break laws). And I only just barely got us there on time. It was raining and snowing and cold and wet. So we knew with Emily having been sick on top the weather, a lot of pictures were definately not going to happen.




Emily did great. My mom had her in the nursery until it was time for her to come up. When they brought Emily in she was mesmerized by the chandelier. She did fuss a little, but that lasted only seconds. She was really tired though because when we went back to pick her up from the nursery, even though she had 3 of her grandparents with her (my mom and both of Jacob's parents took her back to the nursery), she was crying. Jacob took her from his dad and she kept crying. So I took her and within minutes she put her head on my shoulder and fell asleep. So the few pictures we did get outside had Emily sleeping.




Kristina was there. She waited outside in the car until we were ready to come out (she didn't want to wait in the waiting room). We got several pictures with her and several more of her with Emily by themselves. It would not have been the same without her there.

Sunday was Emily's blessing. She did great! Jacob was starting to get emotional before he even took her up. I'll admit, I was too. It was short, but beautiful. My sister-in-law Janele (Jacob's oldest sister) knows short hand and so she wrote Em's blessing down, well, most of it. Which is good, because I was too emotional to know much of what was being said. I didn't take any pictures on Sunday, which is sad. We had a luncheon open house at our house Sunday afternoon after the blessing. Our house was filled to the brim with our loved ones. I didn't know we could fit so many people in our house. And it was so great to have all of them here to love and support us.

It was, as I thought it would be, a bittersweet weekend though. I missed Tamara at the temple and I missed her at the blessing. I understand that she is uncomfortable with religious things. And I wouldn't have wanted her there knowing she would have been uncomfortable (to say that she would have been uncomfortable is an understatement). But still, my heart ached to have her there. I'm glad that those who were able to make it, and brave the weather on both days, were able to be there. What a beautiful special weekend it was.

Tamara is taking photography in school and she is going to take some pictures of Emily in her blessing dress for me. I really wanted to get pictures of all of us, but the money just isn't there to hire someone, so we will make do with what we can. And Tamara has the eye so I know she will do great. Until I have those to share, here are a couple of pictures that I got from Saturday at the temple. A few of these are from Kristina's camera. Thanks for letting me use them Tina!

Jacob, me & Emily outside the Provo Temple after the sealing.

The one who made it all possible. Kristina holding Emily.

My mom made Emily's dress and a bib to match, my aunt made her sweater, a lady at church made her hat, and my sister Ginny made her blanket.


Emily and I after the sealing in the entrance of the temple, waiting to go out for pictures. She was soooo tired! Right after this picture was taken she laid her head down and went to sleep.

Am I excited?

So this is the weekend we have been waiting for. As members of the Church Of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, we beleive that families can be together forever. This is called a sealing. Tomorrow we will be going to the Provo Temple and will have Emily sealed to us as our daughter for eternity. And on Sunday she will be given a name and blessing that will go on the records of our church.

I've had a lot of people tell us how excited they are for us, and ask if we're excited. Honestly that's a loaded question. Don't get me wrong, I am sooo excited! I mean, Emily will be our daughter for eternity. This is a day we have been waiting literally years for. When we were married we wanted to have children right away. That wasn't in the Lord's plan for us. There were times we thought this weekend would never come. But it's here. Emily will be our daughter for eternity. However, Tamara will not. And that, is heartbreaking. Our eternal family will not be complete until she is. So tomorrow will be a very bittersweet day. It's hard to explain honestly. And it will coupled with the fact that she won't even be there in the waiting room. I explained to her why I wanted her to be there, but left it at her decision to be there or not. She chose not to be there. I respect that. She has reasons, ones that I won't go into because they are her personal reasons. They are between her, me and Jacob. And I respect her reasons. But that doesn't dull the sadness of her not being there. I'm not sure if her being there would make it easier or harder honestly. For those who don't know, Tamara is my daughter from a previous relationship. I had her when I was a teenager, and not having alot of support, and not really knowing about adoption, I chose to parent. Tamara was 6 when I married Jacob. She has grown up being shuttled back and forth between our house and her dad's house. The only time she learned about the church was when she was with us. Now, Tamara's dad is a great guy. He is an amazing father. He is not, however, active in our church. I don't think he has even set foot on church grounds in probably over a decade or two. When Jacob and I married and he joined the Army we gave Tamara the choice on who she wanted to live with, knowing we would be moving around a lot. She chose her dad, so she could stay in one place. Being a child who moved around a lot, I don't blame her. But this means she didn't grow up learning about the church. She was given the choice on whether she wanted to be baptized or not when she became a teenager. She chose not to. So not really beleiving in the gospel, or in the sealing power, she has chosen to not be there at the temple when Emily is sealed to us. Like I said, she has other reasons, and we respect those reasons. Still, I am sad....

So I'm trying not to think about it. I'm trying to think only of Emily. This is her day after all. And for that I am truly grateful. And who knows, maybe..... maybe someday.....

Finally, the 6 month post!

Little Miss Em is getting way too big, way too fast. At her 6 month check up a couple of weeks ago she was 19 lbs. 4.5 oz. and 28 1/4 inches. Ya, she's a big girl! She is 96% for her weight, and 99% for her height! Considering she was born in the 95% for both, she is growing right where she should be. The dr. is really pleased with her growth so far. She was impressed that Emily was sitting up by herself for several minutes at a time. Emily now sits up by herself for as long as she feels like it. By that I mean, she'll sit there and when she gets tired of sitting she just lays down. It's too funny! I put her toys around her and she will just play for a long time! She is starting to try to crawl. She will get on her belly and try to put her legs up underneath her and then she'll get frustrated after a few minutes. I would say that she will probably be crawling in the next month or so. She loves to try to feed herself, although she doesn't always get the spoon in her mouth, so we give her an empty spoon. I'll feed her and then give her the spoon when I'm done and she'll play with the empty spoon for a bit. She loves it. She now eats baby food twice a day, and has 3-4 bottles through out the day. We are also trying the sippy cup, but so far she isn't interested. We'll keep trying though.

She continues to entertain us with her cuteness. She says mama, dada, and a lot of other jumbled baby words that no one but her understands, which is to say she is extremely vocal! She loves to blow raspberries in the midst of her babbling, and we have had to walk out of classes at church on more then one occassion (read, it's a weekly occurance) because she's so talkative and is disrupting the class. She is a generally happy baby, still sleeps 7-10 hours at night, still hates naps during the day, wears 9-12 month clothes and size 3 diapers. Her reflux seems to be getting better day by day. We still have to watch very closely what she takes in food wise. I make all her baby food to cut down on the risk of her having an episode (for lack of a better term). We tried her on juice but she had issues with the asorbic acid they put in juices for preservation purposes, so we'll be waiting on juice for a while (the dr. doesn't want us to make her juice, she says just hold off on juice for a while). All in all everything is going great. Emily is a very inquizative child and is always watching what's going on around her, and grabs at everything she can get her hands on. She is drooling up a storm and we're hoping she will be cutting teeth soon (she started teething months ago, but no tooth has broken through yet). Anyhow, there you have it, a couple of weeks late, but that is how Emily is doing at 6 months old. I can't beleive how quickly she is growing up! Crazy!

Signed, Sealed, Delivered, She's OURS!!!

Just a quick note, the judge signed the decree, the clerk stamped it with the court seal, and our lawyer delivered the paperwork to us and..... SHE'S OURS!!! It's official! Emily is now officially, and legally, our daughter! When I picked Tamara up from school today I told her that it was final, that Emily was now legally her sister. Her response was, "She's always been my sister mom". And she's right, Emily has always been Tamara's sister, and has always been our daughter, but, to have it legally recognized now, it's final, well, that is fantastic!

Get off the sidewalks!

Emily's 6 month post is coming. I haven't forgotten. But for now, I wanted to post an update on our oldest. Tamara is 15, 16 in June. Which here in Utah means, dun dun dun, driver's ed! *queue scary music and screaming* Last Monday I took her down to the dmv and she took her test. To my dismay she indeed passed. ;o) As part if the rules of having your permit, she must get 40 hours of driving experience. While 6 hours can be in class, the other 34 must be outside of class, with 10 hours being night driving. This is exceptionally scary for me as a mom. Partially because I have to be the one to drive with her. Because her dad and I have joint custody, and Jacob is not on the custody papers (they were drawn up well before Jacob and I got married), he can't drive with her. She on occasion drives with her dad, but normally it's me. And in our state it can only be me in the car. No one else. Which means if I am to take her driving, we have to get a sitter for Em if Jacob is working. She is getting better. Her turning is still really scary, but so far I have survived several driving sessions with her, without even a scratch to the van. So we're good so far. ;o) Tamara just recently got to go a theatre conference in St. George which she loved! She is seriously considering going to Dixie State when she graduates from high school. This works for me as her other choice right now is UCLA. That would have her way too far from home. Dixie State is 4 hours away, so she would still be "going away" to school, but she would still be within a reasonable driving distance. She wants to major in Drama, and possibly become a drama teacher. She is also going to be trying out for a spot on her high school drama team for regionals. And she has just joined the track team and she is taking photography this semester. She is doing great in school and is very happily getting ready for the sweethearts dance next week with her boyfriend Spencer who is a really sweet guy. And to top it off, she is planning her sweet sixteen (she's thinking black light party, or a kid theme with bounce house type stuff, although she is leaning heavily toward the black light). I can't beleive she is growing up so quickly and that she will be off to college in less then 3 years. I watch Emily grow up, and I watch her learn new things and I long for the days that Tamara was learning those same things. Because I was a single mom while Tamara was little I worked a lot, and I missed out on so much. I was there for all her big firsts, her first words, her first steps, etc. But, I wasn't there for the every day, day to day learning like I am with Emily. That makes me sad. But it reminds me to cherish not only every moment I have with Emily, but every moment I have with Tamara now. I can't back those days I had to work and wasn't there for when she started learning to crawl, but I can be here now. I got to be there for her first high school dance, and take her shopping for her dress and shoes for sweethearts. I get to be here for when she graduates high school and goes off to college, and I get to be here for the day to day now. So I'm going to cherish every moment I can. Sorry for the randomness of this post. I just had to brag on my not so little baby who is growing up way too fast.

Question: Did you use an agency, or was the adoption private?

If you look to the right hand column of my blog you will see a box for Formspring. Formspring is a website where you can ask questions to anyone with an account. You can ask with the person knowing it's you, or you can ask anonymously.

I have been asked several questions about our adoption, particularly because it is a family member adoption. So I figured as part of National Adoption Month I would answer those questions here on my blog as well (I answer questions as they are asked on Formspring). I will try to answer them in more detail here as well.

Question as asked on Formspring: Because of your relationship with Emily's birthmother, did you use an agency, or was the adoption private?

Answer: Actually because it is a family member adoption, our agency (as is the case with most agencies I think), could not facilitate our adoption. We used a private adoption attorney. Best attorney ever! We did use our agency for our post placement visit and our attorney got our file from them for the background checks that are required for any adoption. Our adoption isn't final yet. We still have to wait the required 6 month waiting period. That will be up at the end of January and we will be able to go to court to finalize at some point in February.

As part of adoption month, I will be offering some giveaways, (including a photo session for a hoping to adopt family in the AZ area!) so stay tuned for that. Until then, I wanted to tell you about my friend Angie's giveaway. Angie is an adoptive momma of two of the cutest little boys (seriously, he son Adam has cheeks and a smile that is to die for! I giggle every time I see his picture.) Angie is also a fabulous photographer (Check out her site, Ray Of Sunshine Photography)! She is offering a photo session and disc of images, fully edited to a hoping to adopt couple. It doesn't matter where you live, just as long as you are willing to travel to Utah County for the session. She has several ways you can win. Check out the link for more details: http://claytonandangie.blogspot.com/2010/11/national-adoption-monthand-photography.html

Good Luck!

3 months old!

It has been 3 months since Miss Emily was born! Seriously, where has the time gone! It doesn't feel like 3 months, yet, it feels like she has always been in our family and like there was never a time she wasn't here. I love how that happens.

Miss Emily now sleeps through the night. She has been sleeping through the night for 3 weeks now. It's heaven! She makes up for it during the day though. She only takes small naps and likes to be awake and playing. Her favorite toy is her kick and play piano. She is trying to reach for objects and has even gotten a few. She grabs her binkie out of her mouth and has been able to put it back in several times. She is trying to hold her bottle, but isn't quite there yet. She loves to stand (with help of course), and is trying to sit up by herself. She will growl at you if you growl at her, and I have even gotten her to say "Grrrrr", once! She is too fun!

I can't beleive how big she is getting! At her two month appt. she weighed 12 lbs. 5 oz. and was 24 inches. She has grown a lot since then. She is still wearing size 2 diapers, but is now in 3-6 month clothes and has been for several weeks. I had to buy her 6-12 month socks because the 0-6 month ones fall off her feet.

Our Birth Story (Better late than never right?)

I know, I know! It has been 9 weeks since Miss Emily was born and I still haven't blogged our birth story or anything. I'm sorry! At first it was because I couldn't find the words to describe it. And then it was Emily being in the nicu. And then it was adjusting to life at home with a newborn. And then it was adjusting to life at home with a baby with severe reflux. And then, I just forgot. So now that I am out of excuses, and Emily is now over 2 months old, I figure I should go ahead and blog about it. Anyhow, here goes nothing!

It all started the week before Emily was born. Kristina was having contractions, an hour apart, but they were regular and consistent. We went to her 39 week appt. on Thursday and the doctor said that he thought the baby was over 9 lbs. and ordered an ultrasound,saying that if she was over 9 lbs. we would probably have to do a c-section. They couldn't get Kristina in until Monday morning so we waited. Saturday afternoon I get a text from Kristina telling me that the contractions had stopped (this was a surprise because the contractions were regular for several days and then nothing.) So we figured that we would find out news on Monday. Saturday we celebrated Pioneer Day (Utah state holiday) and went to bed fully expecting to go to church and have a normal Sunday.

Sunday morning I woke up at 5:30 and couldn't go back to sleep. I was just starting to get tired again and was considering whether I should get a short nap before church or just wait till after church for my nap when my phone rang. I went racing up the stairs as Jacob shot straight up in bed and fumbled for the phone (it was my cell which was on the charger in our bedroom). Jacob dropped the phone and we missed the call. I grabbed it from the floor and saw it was Kristina. A phone call, from our birth mom at 6:40 a.m.??? It could only mean one thing! So I called her back, apologized for missing the call, and she said "guess what?!" "what?!" was my response as my heart pounded faster and faster. I was NOT expecting what I heard next. "My water just broke!" WHAT!!!!! So we hung up the phone telling Kristina that we would be there as soon as we could. We hadn't packed anything. Strike that, I packed the things we would need for Emily, but nothing for the rest of us. I did make a list of what I needed to pack but hadn't packed. So I woke Tamara up, and we all packed in a hurry deciding that if we forgot it, we didn't need it. ;o)

By 7:30, after a quick call to each of our mom's as we hopped in the van (my mom was watching our animals for us), we were on the road. We called a few people from church to let them know we wouldn't be there. I asked my friend Beth to tell the bishop because we didn't have his number with us. We called our lawyer and let him know Kristina was in labor and we were on our way. We called to check on Kristina and my stepmom (Kristina's mom) answered and said that they were keeping Kristina at the hospital only because her water had broken, and that Kristina was only dialated to a 2. Kristina was in good spirits and excited to see and hold Emily after all these months. On our way into Logan, where the baby was being born, the song "tonight's gonna be a good night" by the Black Eyed Peas came on (I think that is who its' by). It seemed fitting for the occassion.

We got to the hospital and were suprised when Kristina was still at a 2. I asked if the nurses knew that we were supposed to have an ultrasound the next day and that the baby was possibly 9 lbs. or over. They said yes they knew, and we would just wait and see. Kristina's dr. was not on call or I'm sure they would have done an ultrasound and decided to do a c-section sooner. (She has an awesome dr.).

Hours passed and Kristina remained in good spirits. Emily responded better to the labor when Kristina wore the oxygen mask, so she spent a good chunk of the labor with that on. Labor progressed slowly, but yet Kristina kept a smile on her face. She kept saying, "Guess what?!" I would say what. And she would get a big smile on her face and say "Emily's coming!". More hours passed and still, not much progress. The dr. decided to start potocin that afternoon. Things speed up after that but not by much. As midnight approached we wondered if Emily would wait till the 26th to be born, or if she would decide to be born late on the 25th. Midnight came and went. That answered that. Kristina was at a 10 right around 1a.m. They decided to give her an hour to rest and then let her start pushing. At 2:30 Kristina started pushing and the warming bed and all the supplies were brought in for the delivery. This was it! When the pushing started almost everyone went into the hall. The only ones in the room were Kristina, myself, my stepmom Sally, and our cousin Shelley (and the nurse of course). Everyone else waited anxiously in the hall. After 2 and a half hours of pushing, Emily just wasn't coming out. After 22 hours of labor, Kristina just cried when she found out she would have to have a c-section. I cried too. I hated to think of all that she went through, and to have it end like that. I couldn't bare it. My heart broke for my little sister. And all she could say, was that she didn't try hard enough. Are you kidding me? She looked at me with tears in her eyes and said, "I'm so sorry. I didn't try hard enough. I should have tried harder." My heart broke even more. I tear up even now thinking of it. Kristina was amazing. She was more amazing then anyone ever could have been.

The nurse said that only one person could be in the OR with Kristina. My heart broke again. I looked at my stepmom, I looked at Kristina, and I knew that she needed her mom. As much as I wanted to be there. As much as I ached to hold Kristina's hand and see her through the rest of this. As much as I longed to hear my baby's first cries, I knew Kristina needed her mom, and I knew Sally needed to be there for Kristina. So I choked out that Sally needed to be the one to go. I could barely talk, and my voice broke more then once. Sally looked at me with tears of gratitude and asked are you sure. I wanted to say no that I wasn't sure. I wanted to say that I needed to be the one in there. But I looked at Kristina, and I looked at Sally and I just couldn't say that. I nodded yes, and said that I was going to go tell everyone what was going on. As I went into the hall to tell everyone that Emily would be coming via c-section, I fell into Jacob's arms and just sobbed. I sobbed harder then I had in a long time. The exhaustion from the day had caught up to me. I could barely stand. I was scared. Scared for Kristina, scared for Emily.

We waited in the waiting room outside of the nicu. They were going to take Emily there for quick observation after she was born and I was to join her when they brought her in. We waited for what seemed like another few hours, althought it was only 40 minutes or so. Then the blinds to the nursery window were raised and I saw her. Next to my Tamara, she was the most beautiful baby I had ever seen. The nurse waved me back, they put the bracelet on me that matched the ones on Emily and Kristina. I asked how Kristina was, the nurse said she didn't know, she had left with Emily, but she was sure Kristina was fine. Then I asked for the details. Emily had been born at 5:26 a.m. Almost 23 hours after Kristina's water had broken. She weighed 9 lbs. 5 oz. and was 21 inches. Even if Kristina had a short labor, Emily still would have had to be born via c-section. She was just too big. They checked her blood sugar levels. A common practice for babies so large the nurse assured me. The results came back at 38. They like them to be at above 50. The nurse said that they would probably go up after we fed her. My stepmom came out. Kristina was doing well and resting in recovery.

Kristina wanted to be the one to place Emily in my arms so I hadn't held her yet. It was time. So we rolled Emily back to the recovery room so we could see Kristina. Emily was placed in Kristina's arms, and then I held her. It was the most beautiful moment. Unlike I ever could have imagined. The nurse handed me a bottle and I fed Emily. Sally went to get Jacob and I got to introduce him to his daughter. Now that was the most beautiful moment. We introduced Emily to my dad, and then took her back to the nicu nursery so Kristina could rest. We gave Emily her first bath and they checked her blood sugar levels again. They had gone down to 34. Not good. So they started an IV, which Emily kicked out. The nurse started a new one, Emily kicked her hand and blew the vein. The nurse put it in the other hand and eventually realized how much Emily likes to kick and moved it to her head. We brought Tamara back to introduce her to her new baby sister. And then went to the hotel to get some much needed rest. Emily would be in the nicu for a day or so, and then would be able to go to the regular nursery we were told.......... Obviously, that didn't happen.

Next post will be about our week in the nicu and the faith and strength we had to rely on to get us through it.

Hope and Love

Recently we went to our wonderful photographers house to have Emily's newborn photos done. (It is in the middle of wedding season and Ashley has been booked solid. So it was easier for her to fit us in if we went there. Normally she comes to you, but we wanted to make it easy on her so we went to her house.) The photos we have seen so far are nothing short of stunning! Stunning I tell you! I will share more later, but the one I wanted to share right now is this one.

If you have been a long time reader of my blog, you know the story of my necklace. In case you don't, or need a refresher, or you're just bored and want something to read, here it is.

Infertility has been a long time struggle of ours, like it has for so many other couples. We decided after 4 years of unsuccessful attempts to have a baby, that we would adopt. We decided to adopt through the states foster care system (not the same state we live in now). We signed up and were quickly approved to be not only adoptive parents, but to be foster parents as well. A few months passed by and we ended up having the sweetest, kindest, 8 yr old boy in our home. "I" was so great. Sure, he had his issues that we had to work on, what 8 yr old who has spent his entire life in foster care wouldn't. But together we worked on them. And he made huge improvements in our home. We applied to adopt him but were turned down by his caseworker because of my husband being military and possibly deploying. We were heartbroken. To make a long story short, it was another couple of years before I could think about adopting again. It has been almost 4 years since that horrible day we had to say goodbye to him. To this day I miss "I" and will always feel like he is our son.

Time went on, and eventually we felt it was time to adopt again. Not knowing if we could go through the heartache of losing another child in foster care, and after a lot of prayer and thought, we decided to adopt through our church's agency. We were going to wait till we moved back to Utah, but for some reason, on a Sunday afternoon in January of 2009 we felt we needed to start the process right then. So I called the agency the next morning and within a few months time we were approved. We expected that since we felt that urgency we would be chosen soon. Months passed and nothing. Our profile was being viewed but not a single prospect came up. Sept. rolled around and it was time to pack up and move to Utah since Jacob's time in the Active Duty Army was drawing to a close. Completely confused as to why we would have felt the overwhelming feeling that we had to start the process only to wait and wait we decided to put our efforts into getting settled into our new home and getting our file moved from the New Mexico agency to Utah. Mid-November came and we found out our file was updated and we were once again approved to adopt.

Right around this time I saw a posting on mrs. r's blog for her new business called the r house couture. She and her two besties make hand stamped jewlery and adoption wear. They have ready made peices, and custom made peices. I decided to get a custom one. I chose a design that had two circles with two beads. One circle says love. This represents the love that I have for my family. The other says hope. This represents the hope that we have that our family will grow. The beads are Jacob's birthstone, and Tamara's birthstome. The ladies at the r house did a beautiful job and far surpassed what I thought the necklace would look like.

So on Thanksgiving we went to my dad's house with pass along cards in hand and spread the word to the family who was there that we were hoping to adopt. A couple more months passed and I got a phone call. It was January 31, 2010. The person on the other end was my dad. He asked if we were still hoping to adopt. I said yes. He asked if we were with LDSFS, I said yes. He asked how he could see our profile online. I walked him through the how to's. Then he said he had to go. I told him he couldn't leave me hanging like that and had to tell me if he knew someone who was considering adoption. His answer, "we'll see, maybe." My next thought came out in the form of a question. "Is it K?" (As most of you know, K is my little sister, adopted by my dad and stepmom. Go here to read the rest of that story, it's an amazing one.) His answer was we'll see, maybe. A week later I asked my dad and stepmom if K was the person looking to place. They tried to tell me no, but somehow, we knew it was. (they didn't want K to feel pressure to make a decision knowing that we knew, so that is why they told us no).

On March 10, 2010 we got the call we had been waiting for. K had chosen us to be her baby's parents. And the baby, was a girl, due on July 29th. After a few months of dr. appointments, I contacted Lindsey and asked her for a new stone to put on my necklace. This stone would be a ruby. Little Emily's birthstone. After Emily was born I placed the stone on the necklace next to Jacob's and Tamara's stones. K had not yet signed the consent for the adoption, but it was my way of showing faith, hope and love, that things would work out. A week after Emily was born, with a smile on her face, knowing and at complete peace that she was doing what she needed to do, K signed the papers allowing us to be Emily's legal guardian's in preparation for the adoption.

So this picture to me, respresents what adoption is all about. Putting your trust, faith, hope and love in the Lord, that things will work out. Albeit in his time, and sometimes in very unexpected ways, but they will work out.

Home Sweet Home!!!

We're home!!!! We got a call Sunday morning from the dr. asking us if we wanted to bring the baby home. She was well enough to leave the hospital! The heart murmur wasn't detected, the rapid heartbeat is gone, the infection is gone, blood sugar levels are normal and the jaundice is gone! We were, needless to say, thrilled!! So after Emily's last round of antibiotics at 3 and then a couple of hours of bathing, changing, taking her newborn pics from the hospital and feeding her one last time (cause she was a hungry girl and couldn't wait) it was time to go!

After leaving the hospital we went to Emily's birth mom's house to visit. Such a wonderful visit.

Then we went back to the hotel

Monday afternoon (my dad's birthday, and Emily's 1 week birthday) was court where K signed relinquishment and consent forms and since there is no agency involved in our adoption, the judge signed legal guardianship of Emily to us.

Then it was time to come home!

What a wonderful few days it has been. K is never far from our thoughts. We owe her so much!

And finally, 9 years ago today, I married the most amazing man! Happy Anniversary Jacob!

Fasting and Prayers

Dear Family and Friends,
As you all know our little Emily was born early Monday morning and has been in the NICU since shortly after birth. She is improving, and if all continues to go well, we should be able to take Emily home next Tuesday (which how cool would that be! That is our 9th wedding anniversary). This Sunday is Fast Sunday. We would like to ask that you and your individual families remember Emily and her birth mom K in your fasting and prayers on Sunday. If you are unable to fast, will you please say a special prayer. Please bless that Emily will continue to improve and that we will be able to take her home soon. Also, K is going to court on Monday to relinquish her rights which will allow us to bring Emily home when the time comes, and allow us to proceed with the adoption. K is doing well and is very much at peace with her decision. Please bless her, that she will continue to feel strength, peace and comfort in her decision. That she will always know of the love that we all have for her. Thank you for your continued prayers and love.
With Love, Sharon, Jacob, Tammy, & Emily

Daddy's Girl/NICU Parents

An NICU Mommy..... That's what they call me. The nurses...... When we imagined this time, never did we imagine that we would be NICU Parents, but we are. Our little Emily was born with a low blood sugar which isn't unusual with babies of a high birth weight. After her first feeding her blood sugar actually went lower. So the dr. ordered an IV drip of Sugar water to try to get her blood sugar to go higher. It was working great! They were even turning down the IV drip and weaning her off of it. We could possibly go home soon they told us! Until she started eatting less and less. She went from eatting 2+ oz. in a sitting, to not even an oz. sometimes half an oz. And even getting her to eat that much took work. She was getting fussier and fussier. So the dr. ordered some tests. Turns out baby girl has an infection. Not surprising since K's water broke and it wasn't until almost 23 hours later that Emily was born. They turned the IV drip back up because she isn't eatting. This way she is at least staying hydrated. The dr. detected a heart murmur yesterday, it was still there today, so an Echocardiogram was ordered. The cardiologist at the hospital reviewed the tests. we are still waiting on the official report from Primary Children's Hospital in Salt Lake, but according to the cardiologist here, he says that the holes in the chambers in Emily's heart haven't closed up yet, but he says because she has been sick, that isn't surprising. So according to him, it isn't cause for concern right now, but if at her first well baby check up there is still a murmur, the pediatrician will need to keep an eye on it. We'll see if the PCMC dr. agrees with his assesment. Emily's oxygen levels have been dropping off and on, and her breathing goes a little fast at times, but that is probably due to the stress of being sick the dr. says. So they continue to monitor her. We continue to spend every second we can with her, and pray for her. We aren't sure how long we will be in the NICU. K signed a release with the hospital social worker allowing us to go home with the baby when she is released since K herself will be released before Emily. The nurse said to not be surprised if we are there through the weekend. We hope she is wrong. But, we will stay as long as it takes for Emily to get healthy.

Speaking of K, she is doing well. She was having some heart trouble as well, but an EKG showed nothing wrong according to the nurse. Haven't talked to the dr. yet though. But she is doing well. Walking around like a champ. So much so that I had to tell her to take it easy. I worry about her. But I know she is in good hands. K is a trooper. Very strong, very amazing. Emily comes from her, so I have no doubt she will be o.k. K should be released tomorrow (Wednesday) so court should be Thursday. We'll know more in the morning.

No, none of the last few days is like I imagined it would be. The experiences we have had, the tears we have shed, every last bit of it, has been worth it. Why? Because of this precious little one right here:

After her first bath. 1 hour old.

1 day old. Hanging out with Mommy and Daddy in the NICU. She loves her daddy! Always so content in his arms. You can see her IV in this pic along with some of the cord. The IV is in her head because she kept pulling out the ones in her arms, and this way it is out of the way.

Please, if you would, and if it isn't too much to ask, will you keep our little one in your prayers, and our K as well.

The story of our necklaces made by the r house

We recently got our pictures done with our birth mom K, by Ashley from Monarch Photography. One of the pictures she took is of our necklaces. This is the picture:

I explained to Ashley the special meaning that these have to us, and she wanted to capture the meaning by capturing this beautiful shot. (If you know Ashley's work, you know she specializes in the details. One of the many, many reasons I love her photography) If you have been a long time blog reader of ours you may remember this post where I talked about my necklace (the circle one). For those who are new to our blog, here is the story.

My necklace has two charms. One says hope. It is to represent the hope we have that our family will grow. The other says love. It represents the love we have for each other. The beads on it are my husband Jacob's birthstone, and my daughter Tamara's birthstone, (I will add Emily's after she is born). I got this necklace in November, which was a few months before the call telling us that someone was considering us, and it was several months before K called and asked us to be Emily's parents.

K made our hope a reality by giving us this amazing gift for which we could never repay her.

One day shortly after receiving K's call, I saw a listing for a necklace for your birth mom with a matching bracelet for baby. My heart fell in love, and I knew we needed to get this for K. We gave it to her for birth mother's day (which is the day before Mother's day. I love that there is an extra day to celebrate birth mother's. :o) Not that a reason is needed to celebrate birth mother's they should be celebrated every day, but still. It's a wonderful day.)

I contacted the awesome Lindsey (mrs r from the r house) and asked her if she could do a custom necklace for us to give to K. So she made this gorgeous creation. K's necklace says "Always and Forever in my Heart." It has a pink crystal which symbolizes healing and birth mothers. And it has a glass bead with rosettes. Emily's middle name will be Rose, which is K's middle name. We wanted to honor her by giving Emily, K's middle name. We have a baby bracelet that matches K's necklace, reminding her to always remember how much K loves her. We also wanted K to know that no matter how far apart they are, Emily will always know who she is, and how much she is loved by K. And that they will Always and Forever be in each other's hearts.

K hasn't taken her's off since she got it and I wear mine every chance I get. They are gorgeous, and so special.

If you would like more information on where to get a ready made peice of jewlery, or a custom made one. Or if you would like adoption wear for your little one, check out the r house couture on Etsy.

And if you would like to see more of the photos Ashley did for us, check out this post and this post. We got about 100 so this is just a small sampling. ;o)

Questions Answered

A lot of people have been asking me questions about who K is and how she found us. I haven’t said much up till now. Only that we have known her for a very long time (which in my case is an understatement) and that a family member called us and asked us if we were still looking to adopt. I will still not be showing pictures of her, or using her name. We will continue to refer to her as K. You see, although our family now knows, there are others who don't. So like I said, we will continue to refer to her as K, and ask that if you know her name, that you do the same. And we will not be showing her picture. So why am I discussing this now. Well, like I said, people have been asking us questions, and our story is a really unexpected and special one. Here is our story:



You may have caught that I said OUR family now knows. You may have thought I was talking about Jacob’s family and my family. While they all know, that isn’t the family I was talking about. Well, at least not Jacob’s family. You see, I was talking about my family; my family and K’s family. Because my family and K’s family are one in the same. To tell the whole story I need to back up 16 years.



16 years ago my dad found out his baby brother and his wife were expecting a baby. They would be unable to take care of their little one. So my dad and my stepmom decided to adopt this baby girl. That baby girl, who was born their niece, became their daughter, and my sister. That little girl, is K. Now, almost 16 years later, K has found herself with an unexpected pregnancy. The family member who called us to see if we were still looking to adopt is our dad, mine and K’s. Placing the baby with us was K’s idea. As soon as she started considering adoption, she knew we were the parents for her little one. When I say we will have an open adoption, that obviously, is a big understatement as well. We will see K often. She lives two hours north of us, so not as often as we would like, but as often as we can. K has asked that Emily call her Aunt K. Emily will know that K is her birthmom. We will be open and honest with her. And she will above all, know how special her K is, and how special she herself is to come from K.



Trust me, this was unexpected for us. We thought that our baby’s birthmom would be someone we didn’t know, or maybe someone who was a friend of a friend. Never did we fathom that it would be someone we both know and love, let alone someone we are related to. What’s funny is over the last couple of years, the thought has floated in and out of our minds, what if our baby’s birthmom was K. We always dismissed that thought as quickly as it came. In Jan. of 2009, when we were sitting in church and got the overwhelming feeling that we needed to start the adoption process again, we thought maybe our little one would be coming soon. We were going to wait till we moved to Utah, but like I said, the feeling was overwhelming that we needed to start right then. Had we waited until we moved to Utah, we would have waited several months to even start the process after we arrived, taking the time to settle in, get the house in order, enjoy the holiday’s and then start the process. But because we started the process in New Mexico, we were already approved to adopt when we moved here. All we needed to do was update our file with Utah state background checks & a new home study. We were approved within a couple of months of our move. So why is that important to our story. Well, if we had waited until we moved here to start, we wouldn’t have started the process until Jan. if that. But because we were already approved when we got here, we were eager to get the updates done. Because we were, our file was updated by Thanksgiving and we were good to go again. Because of this, we told all our family at Thanksgiving that we were approved and hoping to adopt. K overheard us talking about that. She thought at that point she might be pregnant but hadn’t confirmed it yet.

When she went to see her dr. they discussed her options. When she decided to consider adoption, we were in the back of her mind. K took sometime to consider whether we were indeed the right family for Emily. When my dad called to see if we were still looking to adopt, we had a feeling the expectant mom was K. In fact months before, right around thanksgiving in fact, we had a feeling our baby was coming soon, and again, the thought came to us, not knowing that K was actually pregnant, “what would we do if K came to us and asked us to be her baby’s parents.” 5 and a half weeks after dads call, our suspicions were confirmed. Because we already suspected, we were able to take the time to pray about whether we could adopt K’s baby. When K called and asked us how we felt about being the baby’s parents, I can’t explain how honored we were. And to this day still are.

If you have any more questions, feel free to ask and I will answer them if I can.