Happy 1 Year!!!

Miss Emily turned 1 yr old on Tuesday! I can't believe she is 1! Crazy how time flies. We have her check up tomorrow so no stats for ya, but she is doing great. She is walking now, most of the time at least. She still crawls when she falls down while walking, but she getting better. She can now walk most of the way across the room without falling. And she only falls because she gets to excited that she is walking that she starts going faster then what her little legs will carry her. But it's funny because she will fall down on her bum and then start clapping. LOL She now says 17 words, her newest words are no, stop, help, and pretty. She is seriously one of the funniest kids I have ever met. She's hi-larious!

We had newborn photos done of her when she was 3 weeks old, with a stuffed elephant that we bought for her before she was born. Here is that picture.

(Photo taken by Paramount Photography)

I decided it would be cute to do her photo with the same elephant for her 1 yr photo. (I did this one) She sure has grown!

I'll have photos and an update from her birthday parties later (we did one and her birthmom did one so she had 2).

9 months!

The last two months have flown by! Last I knew Emily was 7 months old and now here she is a happy bubbly 9 month old!

Emily is now:

Crawling, pulling herself up on people, very close to pulling herself up on objects, walked around furniture twice, got her first tooth (sort of, it's there, has broken through, but hasn't come up more, it's been like that for two weeks!), she is wearing 12-18 month clothes, size 4 diapers, is 21lbs. 13oz. and 29 1/2 inches tall. She is in the 91% for weight for her age group, and 97% for height. She says, mama, dada, nay nay (Tamara's nickname), baba(bottle), ba (ball), waves while saying ba ba (this means bye bye), her favorite word to say is hi. And she even said cat the other day. She is loving the mommy and me gym class we go to. I love it too. I can't beleive she is 9 months! Crazy!

Blessing pictures

Just a quick post. If you're on my facebook you've seen this. If not, I thought I'd share. I was going to get professional pictures of Emily in her blessing dress done, but was never able to. So I decided to see what I could do. These are all by me. I'm not a pro, just a hobbyist. I love taking pictures. :o) Enjoy!

Classic Emily look. She's so goofy!
Silly girl!

Baby feet. :D

My friend Kim had the greatest idea to take a picture of Emily's shoes at her baptism and at her wedding as well. Love it!

The hook and eye closure that was used on Em's dress was from my grandmothers sewing supplies. She passed away in 97 and my mom got a lot of her supplies. When I heard my mom had added it to Em's dress I about cried. I love that there is something from such a special person on her dress.

Details of the dress

The Gorgeous dress my mom made.

Sweet girl!

My baby!

Love her!

Emily's birthmom has a matching necklace. I had to get a picture of Emily wearing this special bracelet. (Custom made and avaliable at the r house couture etsy shop)

7 and a half!!!

So I'm totally great with the milestone blog posts right? I promise, I post the ones for Kristina on her blog on time. I just don't get around to doing them here like I should. *sigh*

Emily is now 7 and a half months. She is doing great! She goes 3-4 sometimes 5 hours between naps. She is always looking at what's going on around her. When I took her in for her flu booster shot on the 2nd she was 20lbs. 12 oz. She was sick a couple of weeks ago so she wasn't sleeping through the night while she was sick and since getting better won't sleep more then 6-8 hours at night, but it's getting better. She is developing right on target the doctor says. She says Mama, Dada, and even said Daddy the other day while looking at the door Jacob had just dissappeared through. It was so cute! She babbles a lot and is working on teething still but those little buggers just don't want to push through, so our normally happy baby is abnormally fussy at times, and drools and chews on everything. We're hoping the tooth will break through soon. Emily laughs a lot, I mean A LOT! and she growls at everything. And makes this adorable growling noise whenever she gets excited about something. She recently started as my sister-in-law calls it, the squishy face. Case in point:

Hehehehe!!!

The Sealing and Blessing.

Well, we did it! Saturday we were sealed to our beautiful baby girl! It was a beautiful moment. The day started out rocky. As usual we were running late. I never used to be late, but it seems since moving back to Utah, I am always running late. Saturday was no exception. So, after checking and double checking to make sure we had everything we needed, I drove like crazy to get to Provo on time. I didn't speed, I just drove crazy (while not breaking any laws of course, but I only just barely didn't break laws). And I only just barely got us there on time. It was raining and snowing and cold and wet. So we knew with Emily having been sick on top the weather, a lot of pictures were definately not going to happen.




Emily did great. My mom had her in the nursery until it was time for her to come up. When they brought Emily in she was mesmerized by the chandelier. She did fuss a little, but that lasted only seconds. She was really tired though because when we went back to pick her up from the nursery, even though she had 3 of her grandparents with her (my mom and both of Jacob's parents took her back to the nursery), she was crying. Jacob took her from his dad and she kept crying. So I took her and within minutes she put her head on my shoulder and fell asleep. So the few pictures we did get outside had Emily sleeping.




Kristina was there. She waited outside in the car until we were ready to come out (she didn't want to wait in the waiting room). We got several pictures with her and several more of her with Emily by themselves. It would not have been the same without her there.

Sunday was Emily's blessing. She did great! Jacob was starting to get emotional before he even took her up. I'll admit, I was too. It was short, but beautiful. My sister-in-law Janele (Jacob's oldest sister) knows short hand and so she wrote Em's blessing down, well, most of it. Which is good, because I was too emotional to know much of what was being said. I didn't take any pictures on Sunday, which is sad. We had a luncheon open house at our house Sunday afternoon after the blessing. Our house was filled to the brim with our loved ones. I didn't know we could fit so many people in our house. And it was so great to have all of them here to love and support us.

It was, as I thought it would be, a bittersweet weekend though. I missed Tamara at the temple and I missed her at the blessing. I understand that she is uncomfortable with religious things. And I wouldn't have wanted her there knowing she would have been uncomfortable (to say that she would have been uncomfortable is an understatement). But still, my heart ached to have her there. I'm glad that those who were able to make it, and brave the weather on both days, were able to be there. What a beautiful special weekend it was.

Tamara is taking photography in school and she is going to take some pictures of Emily in her blessing dress for me. I really wanted to get pictures of all of us, but the money just isn't there to hire someone, so we will make do with what we can. And Tamara has the eye so I know she will do great. Until I have those to share, here are a couple of pictures that I got from Saturday at the temple. A few of these are from Kristina's camera. Thanks for letting me use them Tina!

Jacob, me & Emily outside the Provo Temple after the sealing.

The one who made it all possible. Kristina holding Emily.

My mom made Emily's dress and a bib to match, my aunt made her sweater, a lady at church made her hat, and my sister Ginny made her blanket.


Emily and I after the sealing in the entrance of the temple, waiting to go out for pictures. She was soooo tired! Right after this picture was taken she laid her head down and went to sleep.

Am I excited?

So this is the weekend we have been waiting for. As members of the Church Of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, we beleive that families can be together forever. This is called a sealing. Tomorrow we will be going to the Provo Temple and will have Emily sealed to us as our daughter for eternity. And on Sunday she will be given a name and blessing that will go on the records of our church.

I've had a lot of people tell us how excited they are for us, and ask if we're excited. Honestly that's a loaded question. Don't get me wrong, I am sooo excited! I mean, Emily will be our daughter for eternity. This is a day we have been waiting literally years for. When we were married we wanted to have children right away. That wasn't in the Lord's plan for us. There were times we thought this weekend would never come. But it's here. Emily will be our daughter for eternity. However, Tamara will not. And that, is heartbreaking. Our eternal family will not be complete until she is. So tomorrow will be a very bittersweet day. It's hard to explain honestly. And it will coupled with the fact that she won't even be there in the waiting room. I explained to her why I wanted her to be there, but left it at her decision to be there or not. She chose not to be there. I respect that. She has reasons, ones that I won't go into because they are her personal reasons. They are between her, me and Jacob. And I respect her reasons. But that doesn't dull the sadness of her not being there. I'm not sure if her being there would make it easier or harder honestly. For those who don't know, Tamara is my daughter from a previous relationship. I had her when I was a teenager, and not having alot of support, and not really knowing about adoption, I chose to parent. Tamara was 6 when I married Jacob. She has grown up being shuttled back and forth between our house and her dad's house. The only time she learned about the church was when she was with us. Now, Tamara's dad is a great guy. He is an amazing father. He is not, however, active in our church. I don't think he has even set foot on church grounds in probably over a decade or two. When Jacob and I married and he joined the Army we gave Tamara the choice on who she wanted to live with, knowing we would be moving around a lot. She chose her dad, so she could stay in one place. Being a child who moved around a lot, I don't blame her. But this means she didn't grow up learning about the church. She was given the choice on whether she wanted to be baptized or not when she became a teenager. She chose not to. So not really beleiving in the gospel, or in the sealing power, she has chosen to not be there at the temple when Emily is sealed to us. Like I said, she has other reasons, and we respect those reasons. Still, I am sad....

So I'm trying not to think about it. I'm trying to think only of Emily. This is her day after all. And for that I am truly grateful. And who knows, maybe..... maybe someday.....

Finally, the 6 month post!

Little Miss Em is getting way too big, way too fast. At her 6 month check up a couple of weeks ago she was 19 lbs. 4.5 oz. and 28 1/4 inches. Ya, she's a big girl! She is 96% for her weight, and 99% for her height! Considering she was born in the 95% for both, she is growing right where she should be. The dr. is really pleased with her growth so far. She was impressed that Emily was sitting up by herself for several minutes at a time. Emily now sits up by herself for as long as she feels like it. By that I mean, she'll sit there and when she gets tired of sitting she just lays down. It's too funny! I put her toys around her and she will just play for a long time! She is starting to try to crawl. She will get on her belly and try to put her legs up underneath her and then she'll get frustrated after a few minutes. I would say that she will probably be crawling in the next month or so. She loves to try to feed herself, although she doesn't always get the spoon in her mouth, so we give her an empty spoon. I'll feed her and then give her the spoon when I'm done and she'll play with the empty spoon for a bit. She loves it. She now eats baby food twice a day, and has 3-4 bottles through out the day. We are also trying the sippy cup, but so far she isn't interested. We'll keep trying though.

She continues to entertain us with her cuteness. She says mama, dada, and a lot of other jumbled baby words that no one but her understands, which is to say she is extremely vocal! She loves to blow raspberries in the midst of her babbling, and we have had to walk out of classes at church on more then one occassion (read, it's a weekly occurance) because she's so talkative and is disrupting the class. She is a generally happy baby, still sleeps 7-10 hours at night, still hates naps during the day, wears 9-12 month clothes and size 3 diapers. Her reflux seems to be getting better day by day. We still have to watch very closely what she takes in food wise. I make all her baby food to cut down on the risk of her having an episode (for lack of a better term). We tried her on juice but she had issues with the asorbic acid they put in juices for preservation purposes, so we'll be waiting on juice for a while (the dr. doesn't want us to make her juice, she says just hold off on juice for a while). All in all everything is going great. Emily is a very inquizative child and is always watching what's going on around her, and grabs at everything she can get her hands on. She is drooling up a storm and we're hoping she will be cutting teeth soon (she started teething months ago, but no tooth has broken through yet). Anyhow, there you have it, a couple of weeks late, but that is how Emily is doing at 6 months old. I can't beleive how quickly she is growing up! Crazy!

Signed, Sealed, Delivered, She's OURS!!!

Just a quick note, the judge signed the decree, the clerk stamped it with the court seal, and our lawyer delivered the paperwork to us and..... SHE'S OURS!!! It's official! Emily is now officially, and legally, our daughter! When I picked Tamara up from school today I told her that it was final, that Emily was now legally her sister. Her response was, "She's always been my sister mom". And she's right, Emily has always been Tamara's sister, and has always been our daughter, but, to have it legally recognized now, it's final, well, that is fantastic!

It's Final!!! (Sort of)

I know I need to do Emily's 6 month post. (Can you beleive she is 6 months!) But I wanted to write about what we did today.

Last week I got a call from our most awesome lawyer. Dean Ellis is his name. If you are in Utah and need an adoption attorney, look no further. Dean rocks! Seriously! He was on vacation in southern Utah (seriously, it was freezing here, gorgeous weather there, can you blame him. I was a little jealous, I'll admit it). Anywho, Dean had a court date for us. It was today. I couldn't beleive it! Well, we went to court today and found out (per the most awesome judge we had) we actually could not finalize today. Before you can finalize in our state, it has to be 6 months after placement. Placement should have been July 27th. So we should have been able to finalize today. But because Emily was in the hospital for a week, and because of Kristina's long, horrible, labor, that resulted in a c-section, and Kristina herself having some health issues after delivery, Kristina wasn't able to sign until August 2nd. So technically we couldn't finalize until around the 2nd or 3rd of February. It's an oversight. It was no ones fault. It happens. This is why a friend told me, that you shouldn't schedule your temple sealing for the same weekend you are set to finalize the adoption. (Especially if like us, you have people who may be coming in from out of town.) That, and court could always be rescheduled, this is part of the reason why our sealing isn't until the 19th of Feb. I wanted to give leeway if we needed it. Turns out we did.

When we found out we couldn't finalize today we were also told we may need to come back next week. Our awesome lawyer talked to the judge who allowed us to go ahead and be sworn in, give testimony today, and sign papers today. So here's how it went down.

We made it downtown in really good time (20 minutes, which is awesome in rush hour traffic! And I didn't break a single traffic law to get us there. :D). We found the courthouse, parked, went up to the courtroom and waited outside. Dean got there shortly after we did and took us into a private room to go over the paperwork with us. We were then brought in to the courtroom to find out that the judge would be meeting with us in her chambers.

(Jacob and Emily waiting to go into the courtroom)

We got back there and found out the judge wasn't in yet. So we were taken into the jury room to have a seat until she was ready for us. It was there that we found out that we couldn't finalize today. I'll be honest, my heart dropped a little. We were then taken into the judges chambers. I don't know what I was expecting. But whatever it was, it wasn't what I found. We walked in and the room was very inviting. Sitting behind the desk was a very sweet, pretty woman in a business type outfit. I was surprised she didn't have on robes. Then I realized she wanted to put us at ease. She certainly did. There was some joking and I was pleasently surprised to find out that not only is she an adoptive mom as well, but her daughters name is Emily too. How funny! We took our seats and were sworn in. She was going to allow us to give testimony and sign the forms so we didn't have to come back. She would sign on the 3rd and file the paperwork then. So our adoption will actually be final on the 3rd, but all the paperwork is done.

Anyhow, after we were sworn in I was asked some questions. I had heard about some of the questions, so I thought I was prepared, but truth be told, I was still emotional. Questions like,

"Do you understand that by entering into this adoption today, it will be irrevocable?"

"You've have 6 months of taking care of this baby, do you feel that she is a good fit for your family?"

"Do you feel that you are able to care for this child, financially, spiritually, physically?"

"You understand that by adopting this child, that she will be as if she was your natural child, like she was born to you?"

In all, there were about 15 questions that I was asked. Then Jacob was asked a few questions. Afterwards the judge declared that once she signed the papers on the 3rd, that her findings would be that it is in the best interests of Emily to be adopted by us. That she would be legally our child, as if she was born to us. It was surreal. After the proceedings we talked a little more, she showed us pictures of her kids. We talked about how her son is into photography as well. She applauded my choice of camera. She is a Canon person as well when it comes to cameras. Then she posed for a picture with us.

(from left to right: Jacob, Me, Emily, Judge Atherton)

The judge then put her robes on and headed to the courtroom to start her regular day. Our lawyer led us downstairs the back way so that we wouldn't disrupt the court. Once we got downstairs I realized we hadn't gotten a picture of Dean. So he was kind enough to pose for a photo with a very tired Emily.

(Dean Ellis, a.k.a., the most rockin' awesomest adoption attorney around! Holding our sweet Emily.)

Emily fell asleep on the drive home so when we got home she was all smiles. Here is a picture of Emily in her oh so cute dress that Tamara picked out for the occasion. (Tamara was at school in case you were wondering.)

(Our Girl after court today January 27, 2011)

So it's not technically official, but she's ours!!! I didn't think it would matter. I mean, to us, Emily has been our daughter since day 1. But to be honest, to have it recognized legally, that she's ours. It's a really HUGE deal! Next stop, the temple! YAY!!

At last!

It's funny that last night I posted about waiting for our phone call with our date. Because this afternoon, guess what we got? YAY!!! We will officially and legally become Emily's mom & dad next week! It will be a big week for us since she also turns 6 months old next week as well. We are sooooo excited! We are looking at mid- Feb. for the temple sealing and blessing. I can't wait till the day we get to walk up to this gorgeous building with our baby girl and have her sealed to us as our daughter for eternity. Very soon!

Waiting.......

Adoption is full of waiting. Waiting to be approved, waiting to be chosen, waiting for baby to come, waiting for placement.....

Right now, we're waiting....... Waiting for a phone call...... Emily is almost 6 months old. She will be 6 months next Wednesday, so in just over a week. In our state you can finalize your adoption after 6 months of the child being in your home. Even though our adoption is a family member adoption, we still are required to wait 6 months. Any day now we should be getting a call with our finalization date at the courts. I'm getting anxious. Trying to keep myself busy. Our cousin adopted a baby boy last year. She said to keep ourselves busy because the waiting will drive us crazy. Jacob is busy with work, school, the reserves, his church calling, our latest home improvement project. Me? I'm plenty busy. Tamara is starting driver's ed tomorrow (well, today actually since it 2a.m. on Tuesday), and she's joining the track team at her school. So I'm busy with all of that, plus Emily is growing so much. I'm busy with church callings (yes, I said callings, I have a few), making cakes and other things for various committments I have, helping to plan the adoption retreat in March, and so many other things, but yet, some how, that phone call is all I can think about.

I am in no way complaining. So many I know are still waiting for the phone call that they have been chosen. And if it weren't for Kristina, I have no doubt we would still be waiting as well. I have other friends whose babies were born after Emily, as in a month + after her. But they have their court date already. We have a fabulous lawyer, so it is in no way his fault that we don't have our date yet. The circumstances with Emily's birthfather are different, so that took some extra paperwork on our lawyers part. Who knows why we are still waiting. The scenerios are whats getting to me. Wondering if something went wrong. We are so close to Emily officially becoming ours. I didn't think it would matter to me. To me, she has always been our daughter. I thought it would just be paperwork. No big deal. The closer we get though, the more anxious I am. The more I am realizing it does matter. It matters a whole lot. It is a big deal. Like I said, to me, she has been my daughter, and I her mother. But to have the law recognize that.... It. is. a. big. deal. But, I still worry.... Until we are in court and the judge signs the papers, I think I will continue to worry. That's just who I am. And so..... we wait......

4 & 5 month updates!

So much has been going on, yet life is blissfully normal. I have so much to say, yet my brain is having a freezing moment and I can't thinking of what to write. I had a sweet comment on my Formspring the other day saying that my posting is missed. Seriously, I figured that I was talking to myself out in blog land. Well, that and my mom, because my mom reads my blog. HI MOM! But other then that, I figured I was talking to myself. Nice to know I'm not.

I realized that I never posted Emily's 4 month update, or her 5 month update, so we'll go for a two for one and I'll do both.

Emily at 4 month's learning the art of texting from big sister Tamara. ;o)

In the last two months Emily has grown a lot. At her 4 month check up she was 16 lbs. 11 oz. and 26 inches long. At an appt. on the 27th to check her meds for her reflux she was 18 lbs. 7.5 oz. She fits 6-9 months and is starting to outgrow that size as well. Her doctor told us we could start her on solids, so we have so far done peas, carrots, applesauce (big mistake, don't do applesauce if you have a baby with reflux!), green beans and of course baby cereal. I have been making my own baby food, which has been a fun experience. Next week, sweet potatoes! Emily has rolled from her tummy to her back several times, and can roll from her back to her tummy but doesn't like to. She scoots around when she is on her back which is funny. When we lay her on her tummy she is starting to try to figure out how to move. She still loves to kick, and she loves to laugh. She is a definate momma's girl, but doesn't give smiles to anyone like she does to her big sister. She is in size 3 diapers and sleeps through the night most nights. Since we brought her home we have had to put her in her bouncy chair to sleep. We recently got a crib wedge so she can sleep elevated. I put her in her crib for the first time last night. She didn't sleep for more than a couple of hours, but she had also slept a lot yesterday, so that may have had something to do with it. She is teething but no teeth have broken through yet. She has recently started pressing her lips together when she doesn't want something like her meds, or more food or her binky. It's really funny and I try not to laugh when she does it because then she'll think it's funny and keep doing it, but it's so hard not to laugh. She keeps us all laughing and is an all around happy baby. Emily hasn't really talked yet, but she coo's alot. And her new favorite thing to do is blow raspberries. Silly girl!

Emily at 5 months, the day after Christmas.

We are now less than a month away from being able to finalize Em's adoption and we can't wait! A court date has been requested and we're just waiting to hear more.

3 months old!

It has been 3 months since Miss Emily was born! Seriously, where has the time gone! It doesn't feel like 3 months, yet, it feels like she has always been in our family and like there was never a time she wasn't here. I love how that happens.

Miss Emily now sleeps through the night. She has been sleeping through the night for 3 weeks now. It's heaven! She makes up for it during the day though. She only takes small naps and likes to be awake and playing. Her favorite toy is her kick and play piano. She is trying to reach for objects and has even gotten a few. She grabs her binkie out of her mouth and has been able to put it back in several times. She is trying to hold her bottle, but isn't quite there yet. She loves to stand (with help of course), and is trying to sit up by herself. She will growl at you if you growl at her, and I have even gotten her to say "Grrrrr", once! She is too fun!

I can't beleive how big she is getting! At her two month appt. she weighed 12 lbs. 5 oz. and was 24 inches. She has grown a lot since then. She is still wearing size 2 diapers, but is now in 3-6 month clothes and has been for several weeks. I had to buy her 6-12 month socks because the 0-6 month ones fall off her feet.

Our Birth Story (Better late than never right?)

I know, I know! It has been 9 weeks since Miss Emily was born and I still haven't blogged our birth story or anything. I'm sorry! At first it was because I couldn't find the words to describe it. And then it was Emily being in the nicu. And then it was adjusting to life at home with a newborn. And then it was adjusting to life at home with a baby with severe reflux. And then, I just forgot. So now that I am out of excuses, and Emily is now over 2 months old, I figure I should go ahead and blog about it. Anyhow, here goes nothing!

It all started the week before Emily was born. Kristina was having contractions, an hour apart, but they were regular and consistent. We went to her 39 week appt. on Thursday and the doctor said that he thought the baby was over 9 lbs. and ordered an ultrasound,saying that if she was over 9 lbs. we would probably have to do a c-section. They couldn't get Kristina in until Monday morning so we waited. Saturday afternoon I get a text from Kristina telling me that the contractions had stopped (this was a surprise because the contractions were regular for several days and then nothing.) So we figured that we would find out news on Monday. Saturday we celebrated Pioneer Day (Utah state holiday) and went to bed fully expecting to go to church and have a normal Sunday.

Sunday morning I woke up at 5:30 and couldn't go back to sleep. I was just starting to get tired again and was considering whether I should get a short nap before church or just wait till after church for my nap when my phone rang. I went racing up the stairs as Jacob shot straight up in bed and fumbled for the phone (it was my cell which was on the charger in our bedroom). Jacob dropped the phone and we missed the call. I grabbed it from the floor and saw it was Kristina. A phone call, from our birth mom at 6:40 a.m.??? It could only mean one thing! So I called her back, apologized for missing the call, and she said "guess what?!" "what?!" was my response as my heart pounded faster and faster. I was NOT expecting what I heard next. "My water just broke!" WHAT!!!!! So we hung up the phone telling Kristina that we would be there as soon as we could. We hadn't packed anything. Strike that, I packed the things we would need for Emily, but nothing for the rest of us. I did make a list of what I needed to pack but hadn't packed. So I woke Tamara up, and we all packed in a hurry deciding that if we forgot it, we didn't need it. ;o)

By 7:30, after a quick call to each of our mom's as we hopped in the van (my mom was watching our animals for us), we were on the road. We called a few people from church to let them know we wouldn't be there. I asked my friend Beth to tell the bishop because we didn't have his number with us. We called our lawyer and let him know Kristina was in labor and we were on our way. We called to check on Kristina and my stepmom (Kristina's mom) answered and said that they were keeping Kristina at the hospital only because her water had broken, and that Kristina was only dialated to a 2. Kristina was in good spirits and excited to see and hold Emily after all these months. On our way into Logan, where the baby was being born, the song "tonight's gonna be a good night" by the Black Eyed Peas came on (I think that is who its' by). It seemed fitting for the occassion.

We got to the hospital and were suprised when Kristina was still at a 2. I asked if the nurses knew that we were supposed to have an ultrasound the next day and that the baby was possibly 9 lbs. or over. They said yes they knew, and we would just wait and see. Kristina's dr. was not on call or I'm sure they would have done an ultrasound and decided to do a c-section sooner. (She has an awesome dr.).

Hours passed and Kristina remained in good spirits. Emily responded better to the labor when Kristina wore the oxygen mask, so she spent a good chunk of the labor with that on. Labor progressed slowly, but yet Kristina kept a smile on her face. She kept saying, "Guess what?!" I would say what. And she would get a big smile on her face and say "Emily's coming!". More hours passed and still, not much progress. The dr. decided to start potocin that afternoon. Things speed up after that but not by much. As midnight approached we wondered if Emily would wait till the 26th to be born, or if she would decide to be born late on the 25th. Midnight came and went. That answered that. Kristina was at a 10 right around 1a.m. They decided to give her an hour to rest and then let her start pushing. At 2:30 Kristina started pushing and the warming bed and all the supplies were brought in for the delivery. This was it! When the pushing started almost everyone went into the hall. The only ones in the room were Kristina, myself, my stepmom Sally, and our cousin Shelley (and the nurse of course). Everyone else waited anxiously in the hall. After 2 and a half hours of pushing, Emily just wasn't coming out. After 22 hours of labor, Kristina just cried when she found out she would have to have a c-section. I cried too. I hated to think of all that she went through, and to have it end like that. I couldn't bare it. My heart broke for my little sister. And all she could say, was that she didn't try hard enough. Are you kidding me? She looked at me with tears in her eyes and said, "I'm so sorry. I didn't try hard enough. I should have tried harder." My heart broke even more. I tear up even now thinking of it. Kristina was amazing. She was more amazing then anyone ever could have been.

The nurse said that only one person could be in the OR with Kristina. My heart broke again. I looked at my stepmom, I looked at Kristina, and I knew that she needed her mom. As much as I wanted to be there. As much as I ached to hold Kristina's hand and see her through the rest of this. As much as I longed to hear my baby's first cries, I knew Kristina needed her mom, and I knew Sally needed to be there for Kristina. So I choked out that Sally needed to be the one to go. I could barely talk, and my voice broke more then once. Sally looked at me with tears of gratitude and asked are you sure. I wanted to say no that I wasn't sure. I wanted to say that I needed to be the one in there. But I looked at Kristina, and I looked at Sally and I just couldn't say that. I nodded yes, and said that I was going to go tell everyone what was going on. As I went into the hall to tell everyone that Emily would be coming via c-section, I fell into Jacob's arms and just sobbed. I sobbed harder then I had in a long time. The exhaustion from the day had caught up to me. I could barely stand. I was scared. Scared for Kristina, scared for Emily.

We waited in the waiting room outside of the nicu. They were going to take Emily there for quick observation after she was born and I was to join her when they brought her in. We waited for what seemed like another few hours, althought it was only 40 minutes or so. Then the blinds to the nursery window were raised and I saw her. Next to my Tamara, she was the most beautiful baby I had ever seen. The nurse waved me back, they put the bracelet on me that matched the ones on Emily and Kristina. I asked how Kristina was, the nurse said she didn't know, she had left with Emily, but she was sure Kristina was fine. Then I asked for the details. Emily had been born at 5:26 a.m. Almost 23 hours after Kristina's water had broken. She weighed 9 lbs. 5 oz. and was 21 inches. Even if Kristina had a short labor, Emily still would have had to be born via c-section. She was just too big. They checked her blood sugar levels. A common practice for babies so large the nurse assured me. The results came back at 38. They like them to be at above 50. The nurse said that they would probably go up after we fed her. My stepmom came out. Kristina was doing well and resting in recovery.

Kristina wanted to be the one to place Emily in my arms so I hadn't held her yet. It was time. So we rolled Emily back to the recovery room so we could see Kristina. Emily was placed in Kristina's arms, and then I held her. It was the most beautiful moment. Unlike I ever could have imagined. The nurse handed me a bottle and I fed Emily. Sally went to get Jacob and I got to introduce him to his daughter. Now that was the most beautiful moment. We introduced Emily to my dad, and then took her back to the nicu nursery so Kristina could rest. We gave Emily her first bath and they checked her blood sugar levels again. They had gone down to 34. Not good. So they started an IV, which Emily kicked out. The nurse started a new one, Emily kicked her hand and blew the vein. The nurse put it in the other hand and eventually realized how much Emily likes to kick and moved it to her head. We brought Tamara back to introduce her to her new baby sister. And then went to the hotel to get some much needed rest. Emily would be in the nicu for a day or so, and then would be able to go to the regular nursery we were told.......... Obviously, that didn't happen.

Next post will be about our week in the nicu and the faith and strength we had to rely on to get us through it.

Hope and Love

Recently we went to our wonderful photographers house to have Emily's newborn photos done. (It is in the middle of wedding season and Ashley has been booked solid. So it was easier for her to fit us in if we went there. Normally she comes to you, but we wanted to make it easy on her so we went to her house.) The photos we have seen so far are nothing short of stunning! Stunning I tell you! I will share more later, but the one I wanted to share right now is this one.

If you have been a long time reader of my blog, you know the story of my necklace. In case you don't, or need a refresher, or you're just bored and want something to read, here it is.

Infertility has been a long time struggle of ours, like it has for so many other couples. We decided after 4 years of unsuccessful attempts to have a baby, that we would adopt. We decided to adopt through the states foster care system (not the same state we live in now). We signed up and were quickly approved to be not only adoptive parents, but to be foster parents as well. A few months passed by and we ended up having the sweetest, kindest, 8 yr old boy in our home. "I" was so great. Sure, he had his issues that we had to work on, what 8 yr old who has spent his entire life in foster care wouldn't. But together we worked on them. And he made huge improvements in our home. We applied to adopt him but were turned down by his caseworker because of my husband being military and possibly deploying. We were heartbroken. To make a long story short, it was another couple of years before I could think about adopting again. It has been almost 4 years since that horrible day we had to say goodbye to him. To this day I miss "I" and will always feel like he is our son.

Time went on, and eventually we felt it was time to adopt again. Not knowing if we could go through the heartache of losing another child in foster care, and after a lot of prayer and thought, we decided to adopt through our church's agency. We were going to wait till we moved back to Utah, but for some reason, on a Sunday afternoon in January of 2009 we felt we needed to start the process right then. So I called the agency the next morning and within a few months time we were approved. We expected that since we felt that urgency we would be chosen soon. Months passed and nothing. Our profile was being viewed but not a single prospect came up. Sept. rolled around and it was time to pack up and move to Utah since Jacob's time in the Active Duty Army was drawing to a close. Completely confused as to why we would have felt the overwhelming feeling that we had to start the process only to wait and wait we decided to put our efforts into getting settled into our new home and getting our file moved from the New Mexico agency to Utah. Mid-November came and we found out our file was updated and we were once again approved to adopt.

Right around this time I saw a posting on mrs. r's blog for her new business called the r house couture. She and her two besties make hand stamped jewlery and adoption wear. They have ready made peices, and custom made peices. I decided to get a custom one. I chose a design that had two circles with two beads. One circle says love. This represents the love that I have for my family. The other says hope. This represents the hope that we have that our family will grow. The beads are Jacob's birthstone, and Tamara's birthstome. The ladies at the r house did a beautiful job and far surpassed what I thought the necklace would look like.

So on Thanksgiving we went to my dad's house with pass along cards in hand and spread the word to the family who was there that we were hoping to adopt. A couple more months passed and I got a phone call. It was January 31, 2010. The person on the other end was my dad. He asked if we were still hoping to adopt. I said yes. He asked if we were with LDSFS, I said yes. He asked how he could see our profile online. I walked him through the how to's. Then he said he had to go. I told him he couldn't leave me hanging like that and had to tell me if he knew someone who was considering adoption. His answer, "we'll see, maybe." My next thought came out in the form of a question. "Is it K?" (As most of you know, K is my little sister, adopted by my dad and stepmom. Go here to read the rest of that story, it's an amazing one.) His answer was we'll see, maybe. A week later I asked my dad and stepmom if K was the person looking to place. They tried to tell me no, but somehow, we knew it was. (they didn't want K to feel pressure to make a decision knowing that we knew, so that is why they told us no).

On March 10, 2010 we got the call we had been waiting for. K had chosen us to be her baby's parents. And the baby, was a girl, due on July 29th. After a few months of dr. appointments, I contacted Lindsey and asked her for a new stone to put on my necklace. This stone would be a ruby. Little Emily's birthstone. After Emily was born I placed the stone on the necklace next to Jacob's and Tamara's stones. K had not yet signed the consent for the adoption, but it was my way of showing faith, hope and love, that things would work out. A week after Emily was born, with a smile on her face, knowing and at complete peace that she was doing what she needed to do, K signed the papers allowing us to be Emily's legal guardian's in preparation for the adoption.

So this picture to me, respresents what adoption is all about. Putting your trust, faith, hope and love in the Lord, that things will work out. Albeit in his time, and sometimes in very unexpected ways, but they will work out.

Will she be a fish?

I gave Emily a bath this morning. Her first that I didn't have to sponge her down. I actualy ran the water over her. I thought she would SCREAM! I was wrong! She LOVED It! I think she is going to be a fish. When I was washing her hair she actually arched her back so she could get her head more under the water. Seriously, I didn't know 3 week old baby's had this much personality! I think we're in trouble. LOL

Can she get any cuter?!

The answer to that would be yes! YES! She can get cuter. And she does! But seriously, just when I think she could never be any cuter, she proves me wrong. So I have just stopped asking myself if she can get any cuter. Because I know now the answer is yes. ;o)

Emily is now 2 and a half weeks old. We had her 2 week check up on Monday. The dr. said she is a happy, healthy, perfect baby! Emily has gained in weight and height. She is now 9 lbs. 10 oz. and is 21 and 3/4 inches. She is in size 1 diapers (the newborns have always been tight on her. They had to actually order size 1's in the hospital for her because the didn't have any. LOL) She has very few newborn clothes that fit her. She is mostly wearing 0-3 months. Emily can also hold her head up by herself (she is still slightly wobbly, but can hold her head up for minutes at a time). She also is trying to push herself up while she is on her tummy. She smiles a lot and LOVE'S to kick! She laughs, but only while she is sleeping. We are loving every sleepless, wonderful, blissful moment of our new lives as a family of 4!