Wednesday, November 2, 2011
How does your family member adoption work?
What a difference two years makes. As I look back on the last couple of years I see how much our family has changed. Two years ago during National Adoption Month I was posting about other hopeful families. Meaning, we were a hopeful family too and we had been for several years. Now, here we are, two years later, with two beautiful daughters, the youngest of which was brought to us because of one gorgeous and amazing young woman who made such a selfless decision. I remember talking to Kristina shortly after Emily was born. She hadn't yet signed the papers because she was still in the hospital and since we have a family member adoption the law required her to sign consent forms in front of a judge at the court house. I asked her how she was feeling with everything. She simply smiled and said "good". We were alone in the room so I felt like I could really talk to her and so I asked her how she was really doing. She smiled again, and she said "no, really, I'm good. I know this is right, you guys are going to be amazing parents to her." People often ask me why Kristina needed to see our profile and consider us as a potential family for her child that she was carrying. What people don't understand is that, yes we might be a family member adoption, but we aren't the typical family member adoption (is there such a thing?) When Kristina was adopted by my dad and stepmom she was a baby, but I was 16 and not living with them. We didn't grow up together. We had actually met in person, a dozen or so times before Kristina became pregnant other than when Kristina was a baby but she doesn't remember that. So she really didn't know me that well and didn't really know Jacob at all because half the times she saw me, Jacob wasn't there. So she really needed to take time research and get to know who we were in order to make her decision. We were able to take the time we needed during the pregnancy to really get to know eachother on a different level then just family (not that family isn't a fabulous bond, but the bond between an adoptive parent and birth parent, is just different and special in it's own way, which combined with our sisterly bond, makes for one fabulous and special bond). Our family member adoption is not what most are. It works, most don't. We have our ups and downs yes, but for the most part, it is fabulous! We honestly wouldn't change it for anything.