Blankets for Birthmother's via The R House

My friend Jessalynn started an organization called Blankets for Birthmothers. During the month of November Mrs. R. over at the R House is hoping to help Jessa collect 50 blankets. Jesss brings these blankets to 6 different agencies who give them to birthmothers who are placing their baby's. This way when they leave the hospital, they don't leave empty handed. Jessa herself is an amazing birthmom to a beautiful little girl, and she used her blanket in the hospital with her little one and was able to bring it home with her. When she is missing her little girl, she will hold the blanket to feel close to her. Jessa wants other birthmom's to have that beautiful reminder as well.

So how about it? Shall we help them reach their goal? Don't know how to sew? That's o.k.! Mrs. R. posted a rockin' instructional video to a no sew fleece blanket on her blog, along with all the info on where to send the blankets. :D Check that out here.

And don't forget about the giveaways going on right now.

For anyone touched by adoption in the Phoenix AZ area, Kim Nevels Photography is offering a free photo session. You have until tomorrow night to enter this one.

And for a hoping to adopt family, no matter where you live, Envision Image Design is offering a complete blog redesign. This contest is running all month. For details, look here.

And for anyone touched by adoption, Envision Image Photography is offering a special $99 photo session for the month of November only.

Hoping to adopt: Meet Paul & Jeanette

Before I go on to today's post, I wanted to remind you about the current giveaways:
For anyone touched by adoption, whether a birthparent, hoping to adopt family, adoptive family, adoptee, etc. in the Phoenix AZ area, a photo session and photo CD from Kim Nevels Photography.
And for a hoping to adopt family, no matter where you live, a complete blog redesign offered by Envision Image Design.
And a special for families in Utah, anyone touched by adoption, A $99 photo session offered by Envision Image Photography.
Anyhow, on to today's post!
I'm so excited to introduce you to this wonderful family. Jeanette has been a friend of mine since Jr. High. We lost touch after High School, then got back in touch when we both tried out for a play our church was putting on. Jeanette landed the female lead in Seven Brides for Seven Brothers (I was the bride who married the 3rd brother Caleb). She is seriously an amazing woman, and her husband is pretty awesome too. Their daughters are adorable, as you will see, and joined their family through the gift of adoption. And they are ready to add a new little one to their family. But what am I telling you for. Here is their journey in their words:
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We are the “UTE Fan Family of Four!” Here is a little bit of our family history to share with you:

Our journey to adoption began nearly 4 years after being married in 1998. We had tried getting “homemade babies” to join our family for a year and a half when we realized that might not happen for us. Another 18 months, and test after test later, we were informed of our infertility and immediately began paperwork to adopt.

We were on a “waiting list” for 4 years, when the agency contacted us to house a birthmother who had chosen another family. It took us a few days to accept the challenge, but in the end “C.S.” came to live with us for 5 months. This is when and where our hearts were softened towards birthmothers and how incredible and amazing each of them are.

3 months after “C.S.” left our home, we were contacted by a different agency to potentially adopt through them. The situation of the birthparents was rocky at best…. The birthmother was 19, having her second child, and going through a divorce. The birthfather was refusing to sign his termination of rights to the baby. Crazy as it sounds, we knew that this was our baby and our birthparents.

30 days later, we welcomed our first daughter “Lil’ Miss M” thanks to her birthmom “A”. It was another 30 days after having her home that the birthfather signed the relinquishments. It was an incredible miracle and blessing, not to mention a relief.

(“Lil’ Miss M” is now 4 ½ years old. She is in pre-school and dance. She is a happy and silly little girl, and she is such a peacemaker. She has a very tender heart and is a complete joy.)

Fast-forward 18 months…and we begin to feel anxious about another baby. We had decided we’d put together paperwork in February or March.

On a whim, around the end of September 2007, we called the caseworker we’d dealt with for our first adoption, who asked us if we were calling because we wanted another baby. When we told her we were thinking February/March time-frame, she said she needed our paperwork “like yesterday”; she knew where our baby was.

4 days after we submitted paperwork, we got a call from this caseworker informing us a birthmother, “S.J.” wanted to meet with us. Another 4 days, and “Lil’ Miss M” was to be a big sister to a little sister due in March. February 15th, “Angel C.J.” was delivered – exactly one month early.

(“Angel C.J.” is now 2 ½. She is talks like she is 4 ½, and about as smart. She is such a tease. She is an amazing little swimmer and she loves to sing. And though she can be more stubborn than an ox…she warms our hearts and makes us happy.)

The girls adore each other and are best friends.



We enjoy having open adoptions with both and couldn’t love “A” or “S.J.” possibly any more for the blessings we share in “Lil’ Miss M” and “Angel C.J.”.

We have had some difficult, crazy and absolutely amazing and breath-taking moments through adoption. But, one of the most unexpected blessings through both of our adoptions…is our relationships and the intense amount of love we have with and for our daughters’ birthmothers.


We’re so thrilled with our experiences…we are preparing to do it again. Yes! Adoption #3 is in our future. Our approval and paperwork should be completed in the next few weeks.

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If you or someone you know is pregnant and considering adoption and would like to learn more about Paul & Jeanette, feel free to contact them at pescado_b@yahoo.com, or check out their blog for more information.

Nia Vardalas on The Talk discussing adoption. Love it!

Was watching my new favorite Talk Show, The Talk yesterday and saw this interview with the awesome actress, Nia Vardalos who is the National Spokesperson for Adoption. Love this!! Ecspecially where she talks about seeing her daughter, who she adopted through foster care, for the very first time.

Photography Giveaway--- Phoenix AZ area for those touched by adoption!

I apologize for not posting yesterday. The stomach flu has been rampant in our house. It started out with our sweet nephew who spent the night last week, then I got it, now Tamara has it. We're hoping it stops with her and that Jacob and Emily don't get it. *praying*

Anyhow, here is the post that was supposed to go up yesterday. I will post for today later on.

This is a giveaway for anyone touched by adoption, offered by my long time friend Kim of Kim Nevels Photography. I have known Kim since my early years of high school. It's been 18 or so years now (boy does that make me feel old!) Kim is an amazing wife, mom, friend, and photographer. And she is offering a free photo session to those touched by adoption in the East Valley of Phoenix AZ area. (Or if you would like to enter but don't live in that area, but would like to pay her traveling costs, Kim is happy to come to you.) Kim is also the sister of a birthmom, so adoption means alot to her. And when I went to her and asked if she would be willing to offer a giveaway, she was happy to.

If you are a hoping to adopt family and need updated photos for your profile, blog, pass along cards etc., if you have recently welcomed home your newly adopted little one, or if you are about to welcome home a newly adopted little one and would love someone there to document those moments, if you are a family who has adopted, if you would like to do maternity photos with your birthmom, if you are a birthmom and would like maternity photos, or if you are a birthfamily who is about to place, and would like photos with your little one in the hospital before placement (Kim did this for her sister, and these are pictures her whole family cherish's.), and you live in or around Phoenix, this is for you!

The photo session will include the actual session of course, along with a CD of your pictures, fully edited.

So you want to know how to enter right? It's simple, just leave a comment here with your email address, tell me how adoption has touched your life. It's that simple. :D

Want an extra entry?! Blog about this, and leave an additional comment with a link to your blog post and you will get an additional entry. Also, Facebook about this giveaway and leave another comment telling me you did a Facebook post, and that is an additional entry! That's up to 3 entries! You have until this Saturday November 13th @ 11:59 p.m. MDT to enter! Winner will be chosen using random.org and will be announced on Sunday. So what are you waiting for? Get commenting!

And don't forget about my month long contest for a hoping to adopt family. There is a blog redesign up for grabs.

Repost: Fundraising Ideas

I know this is a repost from last year, but I wanted to put it out there again. Not to mention, I have 3 callings at church and I have stuff due for 2 of them tomorrow, so I need to get those done, and time is getting short tonight. And don't forget about the contest for a blog redo for a hoping to adopt family! So far I have only had a couple of people enter, so your chances of being one of the 5 finalists, is really good right now. LOL So, here it is, from last year, how to raise money for your adoption:

I had been racking my brain trying to decide on what to post for today's adoption related post. I couldn't narrow it down was the problem. That's when I got a FB message from the lovely and talented mrs. r telling me that my necklace was ready. If you know mrs. r, you know what I'm talking about. If you don't know her, why not? ;o) Mrs. r has started with some of her friends, an etsy shop, called, what else but, the r house, featuring handmade, gorgeoue necklaces, and has recently added some children's clothing to her shop. A-D-O-R-A-B-L-E children's clothes too! Adorable I tell you! Cute little onsies for baby and shirts for toddlers that say things like, "I love my Birth Mother", and "I get my good looks from my birth family". Seriously, how cute is that!

What does this have to do with adoption you ask? Why everything! mrs. r started this shop to help raise funds for her adoption costs. As I mentioned in my last post, they have been in court for over a year fighting for their son. Their legal costs, as you can imagine, are crazy, so they started this shop as a way to help raise money. They do premade necklaces, that they have designed, and they do custom necklaces (that's what I got). Along with those adorable clothes.

So why am I mentioning this in this post and not the last one? Because what I want to focus on in this post, is ways to raise funds for your adoption.
Here are just some of the many ideas:
----- like mrs. r, open an etsy shop, etsy is a great website where crafters can sell their handmade items.
----- think of something you're good at, and offer that as a service, like if you're good at photography, offer to take family photos at a reduced rate, and all proceeds go to your adoption. Ecspecially this time of year, everyone is looking for affordable photographers for Christmas card photos!
----- sell on ebay, set up an ebay account if you don't already have one, and sell items on ebay for extra funds for your adoption.
----- garage sale, yes, in most parts of the country it is getting too cold for garage/yard sales, but now is a great time to start gathering items for your sale. Ask family members and friends to donate items that you can sell. When you're ready for your sale, don't hesitate to advertise your sale as being held to help raise funds for your adoption. You may be surpised how many people come to help support you. Put your blog address, or a link to your adoption profile on the price tags of your items. Place your pass-along cards on a table along with flyers telling all about you. You never know if someone who comes may know someone who is considering an adoption plan.
----- Adoption grants, Adoption grants are everywhere. some you need to pay back, some you don't. (just google adoption grants to find out more)Also, Check with your employer, they may offer adoption grants, or they may have a program to reimburse you for some of your adoption expenses.
----- bake sale, ask a local retailer, or a local church if you can do a bake sale in their parking lot, or in front of their building. You can also combine a bake sale with your garage sale. sell a couple of different beverages too, 12 packs of soda can be bought when they go on sale for as little as a couple dollars or less, you can sell each can for 50 cents giving you a nice profit.
----- car wash, need I say more?
----- the holidays are coming up, so write a letter to your family and friends and let them know that you won't be sending/giving gifts this year as you save for your adoption. You may even find that instead of giving you a gift, some of your family members want to donate to your adoption fund.
----- save save save! I know that isn't a "fundraising" idea, but there is no better way to obtain your funds, then to save, save, save! One tip I got from our new case worker who went to a recent conference on adoption, giving us notes because she knew we didn't live here when it was held and weren't able to go(did I mention she rocks!) is to figure out what the cost will be per week once your child is placed in your home. If the cost of diapers, wipes, formula, clothes, etc. will cost you $50-$100 a week, depending on where you live and where you shop, start setting that much aside in a savings account every week. You will be surprised how quickly that adds up. Plus, once your child is in your home, you will already be used to having that cost, so it won't be such a shocker to your budget.

Honestly, the possibilities are endless. I googled adoption fundraising and I can't even tell you how many hits I got. What fundraiser ideas have you used? Come on, let's share! :D

And I'm going to leave you with a photo of my gorgeous necklace. I can't wait to get it! (I hope mrs. r doesn't mind that I am using the photo that I got from her etsy store where my necklace was listed. I just had to show you all how gorgeous it is!)

Gorgeous right?! Here is the reason behind what I chose. I chose 2 discs, one saying hope, because I have hope and faith that we will find our birth mother, and that we will be blessed with her and her little one as new additions to our family (along with all her family and our birth father too if he wants to be). I chose love because I love my husband and daughter with everything I have and everything I am. I chose the pearl because it is Tammy's birthstone, and I chose the green stone because it was close to aquamarine which is Jacob's birth stone. :D Are you jealous? Do you want one too? Just contact mrs. r through her etsy shop or through her blog. And just think, not only will you get a gorgeous peice of custom jewlery, but you will be helping a wonderful family stay together. :D

Storytelling Workshop for Adoptive Parents

First of all, don't forget about the giveaway going on, generously donated by Crystal of Envision Image Photography and Envision Image Design. Check Tuesday's post for details. One hoping to adopt family will win a complete blog redesign (check the post on how to enter, for this contest, it doesn't matter where you live, you just need to be a hoping to adopt family). Also, Crystal is offering a special for the month of November only, a $99 photo session for hoping to adopt families, adoptive families, and birthparents.

Now, on to today's post. I was contacted the other day by my longtime friend Julie. I have known Julie for about 11 years now. Julie is an amazing master storyteller. Julie's friend Rachel is teaching a workshop on storytelling. This workshop is for adoptive parents. You will learn how to tell storys to your children, just like the master storytellers do. Before the event, a background survey and consent form will be completed as this is part of a Storytelling Masters thesis. Couples will email a paragraph once a week for 7 weeks on the impact, if any, on their parenting. Confidentiality will be maintained for the written responses.

As part of your attendence you will receive, a free story performance geared toward adoptive couples, a workbook on how to share stories with your child (not just your little ones either, you will learn how to tell stories, to every age, from tots to teens!) , gift bag with goodies, and free dessert! Oh, and did I mention a book filled with 12 different stories about adoption! This event promises to be fun!

Oh, and it's completely and totally FREE! So you want the details?

When: Saturday November 20, 2010
Time: 7:00 - 9:30 p.m.
Where: Weber State University, Shepherd Union Bldg., Room 312 in Ogden, UT
Cost: Free! (Even the parking)

For more info: http://yearofthefamily.wordpress.com/storyworkshop/

Question: Would you do a privatized adoption again? And what are the pro's and con's?

Question from Formspring: Would you ever do a private adoption again? What were the pro's and con's that you experienced?


Answer:

With a private adoption, we do still have to wait the required 6 months before we can finalize, just like any other adoption in Utah. We also still had to do a post placement visit and hired our agency to do that. (Although normally you would have to do 3 post placement visits, we only had to do one)

One of the pro's for us, the cost. I know that sounds awful, but let me explain, The attorney we found (he was actually recommended to us by two different people, one who is a birthmom) is very honest and doesn't overcharge. He charges us based on our case, which he does with all adoptions, instead of treating every adoption the same, and charging the same (I talked to a few attorney's who charged the same no matter what). Let me stress that in most cases, a private adoption normally costs more, and sometimes considerably more. Ours was less because when we went to our attorney, Kristina (Emily's birthmom) had already chosen us. All our attorney needed to do was the court stuff. Our adoption being a family member adoption also weighed into the cost. I know others who had done a private adoption, and they spent thousands more then we did. A family adoption takes considerably less paperwork then a regular private adoption. We also had more control over how things went. Rather then having someone tell us how things would go, we were able to, with Kristina, make a plan together of how things would go at the hospital and after (that was actually a pro, and a con). Of course nothing worked out how we planned, but it worked out all the same.

One of the cons about not having an agency, in an agency facilitated adoption, the agency works out placement and the details of that and the relinquishment and consent. We didn't have that. Our attorney did a good job with the relinquishment and consent (which we had to so a week later at the courthouse) but we were on our own when it came to placement (in most situtations he would have worked that out too, but because ours was a family member adoption, we were on our own). My main reason for wanting to do an agency adoption was our child's birthmom being able to seek counseling should she wish from the agency. Because we did a private adoption, that was not avaliable as part of our adoption.

There are pro's and con's to all types of adoptions, whether a family member adoption, a private adoption, foster adoption, agency adoptions, etc. Really it's just what's best for your family. We prayed long and hard about our adoption. We felt that it was right for us. Because Emily's birthmom is a family member, we had no choice but to do a private adoption. But it has been good for us.

As to whether we would do a private adoption again? We would again pray long and hard about it before saying yes to any potential adoption, whether it ended up being a family member adoption, private adoption, agency adoption. etc.

If you have questions about our adoption, or family member & private adoptions in general, you can either leave a comment here, email me, or ask on formspring.

Don't forget about the giveaway and special from Envision Image! A compelet blog redesign for a hoping to adopt family, and a photo session special for hoping to adopt families, adoptive families and birthparents! For details see yesterday's post.