The Annual Grandma's Day

To most people, the day after Thanksgiving is known as Black Friday. This is the day where stores have HUGE sales, encouraging people to go out and shop. This is the day that the companies who are in the red, expect to make such a profit that they now find themselves in the Black.

Neice Rachael describing the mayhem and foolishness that is Black Friday shopping. Her mom Dawn -our sister in law, and the one who introduced Jacob and I, loves going shopping at 4a.m. on Black Friday, Rachael went with for the first time this year. "How was it Rachael?" "IT WAS CRAZY!!"

In our family, the day after Thanksgiving is known as Grandma's day. On this day, every year, Grandma (Jacob's mom), hosts a Grandkids party. All the parents come and drop their kids off and go shopping or whatever they want to do, while Grandma and Grandpa have a fun filled day with them. Normally some of the adults stay to help, after all, we have 12 grandkids on this side of the family, and that is a lot for one person, even Super Grandma, to handle. This year, Uncle Joe (the brother who is just younger than Jacob) stayed to help.

They make crafts, have fun, play, and watch movies.

Here we have Grandma (Jacob's mom), neice Valerie, Uncle Joe, Nephew Ben, Neice Nicole, and Neice Mary watching a movie.

Then the mommy's and daddy's come back from shopping and hug their kids and see what fun they all had. (Janele, Jacob's older sister, and her adorable son, our nephew Mathew)

Then we all chat for a bit, and eat dinner while we wait for the evenings very special guest. (Our sister-in-law Teresa, she is married to Jacob's brother Joe). You can see Nephew Jessie playing with the train table Grandma has in the background.

Then we all start to sing and dance to "Here comes Santa Claus". Hmmm.... Wonder who our special guest could be! (Jacob's mom singing and dancing, such a fun Grandma!)

There he is! It's Santa Claus, and Mrs. Claus!

Some, got to meet him for the first time! (Mathew didn't know what to think of Santa)

We all sat on Santa's lap and told him what we wanted to Christmas. Nephew David got to be the first to go!

Even Tammy sat on his lap, doesn't she look thrilled! hehehehe ;o)

Grandma's day! Such a fun family tradition!

Thanksgiving with Family

This was the first Thanksgiving in 6 years that we have all been together. You wouldn't think it would be tough to get 3 people together for 1 Holiday, but it is. For the last 6 years, either Tammy was at her dad's, or Jacob was deployed or away training getting ready for a deployment. Now that he is out of Active Duty Army and we are back home in Utah we jumped at the chance to spend Thanksgiving together. And since Tammy's dad only lives a mile away from us, it makes both of us sharing Holiday's with her, a whole lot easier!

Thanksgiving is my favorite Holiday. I'm not sure why, except that when the Halloween stuff comes down, the Christmas stuff goes up and everyone seems to forget about Thanksgiving. Think about it, in the stores, when do you start seeing Christmas stuff? Right after Halloween, or in some cases, even before then. Or in the case of 1 store we went to while living in New Mexico last year, July. No joke! Christmas stuff was up in the stores in JULY! *shock* Crazy! My favorite thing about Thanksgiving is just being able to see so much family. I even got to see my dad's brother and his wife, my Uncle Les and Aunt JoAnne. I haven't seen them since Tammy was 2. They don't live near my dad so when I go to see my dad I don't get to see them. It was so good to see them again! Boy were they shocked when they saw Tammy!

Anyhow, since we have so much family our Thanksgivings are kind of stretched out over the years. I think we have it figured out though. This year we went to my dad's. Next year we'll go to Jacob's Family's for Thanksgiving, the next year my Brother's house (cause that is where my mom normally spends it),the next year, our house, and then back to my dad's house and so on.

So this year, it was off to Logan to my dad's house. It was so much fun. My dad is recovering well from his double knee replacement surgery a couple of months ago. Although by the end of the night he was pretty worn out.

My Beautiful Stepmom Sally who made a lot of the yummy food (although we all had our assignments of what to bring, but she made most of it. Sooooo good!)

There was lots and lots of family there. (Sorry Aunt Linda for getting a picture of you eatting!) A lot of people were up getting food when I took this, so there was a lot more then what you see. Around 30 or so people. Love it!

This beautiful lady is my Aunt Linda (my stepmom's sister). And the smiling bearded guy back there is my daddy!

One of my favorite things about when we get together is finding a place to just sit and chat. Most of the chairs were in the dining room and since my dad can't do stairs yet, we couldn't go to the family room downstairs, so we all found a spot on the floor in the living room and just talked.

This handsome guy here is my brother Matt. Yes ladies, he's single. ;o)

Here is Tammy sitting with my sister Kristina (on the left) who is 9 months older than her, and my brother David, who is about a year younger than Tammy, is standing in the back. My Dad and Stepmom adopted Kristina and David when they were each infants, so they are my daughters age. They all have fun with that. Tammy's Uncle is younger then her. ;o)

These pictures made me laugh when I saw them. This is Tammy. This is what she does whenever she sees a camera pointed at her.

This is my sister Kristina. This is what she kept doing when she saw a camera pointed at her. Look familiar? ;o)

Button and HTML Code

Some of you may have noticed on the right sidebar, our new blog button along with the HTML code to add our button to your blog. the blog button I made myself. I loved the one that my friend from high school, Jill made us, but I couldn't get it to size right to fit with the new HTML code, so I had to make a new one. I got a new software program that allows me to do digital scrapbooking and with it I made the blog button you see. I'm so not tech savvy so I'm proud of myself for making it. YAY me!

Now because I'm not tech savvy I had no clue how to do an HTML code, but my new friend, Jill (I profiled her last week, remember?) posted a link on her blog about how to easily make an HTML code for your blog. Megan, who I also profiled a couple of weeks ago (during the success stories week) , gives easy, step by step instructions on how to do an HTML code. (Thank you again Jill for sharing the link, and thank you Megan for sharing your knowledge!)

If you haven't already, please add our new button to your blog and help us spread the word about our hope to adopt. And if you'd like me to post your button on our blog, just leave a comment here with a link to your blog where I can find your button, and I'd be glad to do just that!

The Love Of God

(The other day, Jacob and I saw this at the store, it seems perfect for us and everyone touched by adoption. It will hang in the nursery.)

Yesterday Jacob and I spoke in church. It has been 9 years since I have spoken so I was a little rusty, and a whole lot nervous. I think it went o.k. though. The topic I was given was a talk given by President Deiter F. Uchtdorf of the First Presidency. I remember from conference that this was one of my favorite talks. I thought I'd share my talk based on his talk with you. To read President Uchtdorf's talk in it's entirety, go here. I did change my talk a little when I actually gave it, but this is what I had written down.

Pres. Uchtdorf asks, How do we Become Disciples of Jesus Christ? In John 14:15 the answer is given; “If ye love me, keep my commandments.” So with all of the commandments, what is the greatest commandment? In Matthew 32:37 and 38 the Savior Jesus Christ answers this by saying; “ Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and greatest commandment.”

Pres. Uchtdorf says, "Because love is the great commandment, it ought to be at the center of all and everything we do in our own family, in our Church callings, and in our livelihood. Love is the healing balm that repairs rifts in personal and family relationships. It is the bond that unites families, communities, and nations. Love is the power that initiates friendship, tolerance, civility, and respect. It is the source that overcomes divisiveness and hate. Love is the fire that warms our lives with unparalleled joy and divine hope. Love should be our walk and our talk."

He goes on to say, "When we truly understand what it means to love as Jesus Christ loves us, the confusion clears and our priorities align. Our walk as disciples of Christ becomes more joyful. Our lives take on new meaning. Our relationship with our Heavenly Father becomes more profound. Obedience becomes a joy rather than a burden."

Let me repeat that last part, "Obedience becomes a joy, rather than a burden." During our 8 years of marriage Jacob has spent 6 of them as a Soldier in the US Army. During those 6 years he has served 2 tours of duty, 12 months in Iraq, and 15 months in Afghanistan. I spent some time as an FRG leader. The FRG is a family support group and it was my job to make sure that the families of the other soldiers were doing o.k. Once a month we would have meetings to discuss any issues with our spouses and such. It was after one of those meetings that the hostess of the meeting offered everyone in attendance a drink. She stated that she had wine and beer. I politely declined and said I don't drink. She said that was o.k. and she had Coke and Diet Coke. I said that I don't drink caffeine either (gives me HUGE migraines) but that water would be great. She said, and I quote, "Let me get this straight, your husband is gone for months on end and you don't drink, I'm assuming you don't smoke or anything?" I said yes, that's right. She said "what are you? A Saint?" I chuckled and said, "Well, yes, I'm a Latter Day Saint." She looked at me puzzled. I explained to her that I belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, and that in our church we beleive in keeping our bodies clean and pure and not consuming alcohol and other harmful things. I then got the opportunity to talk to her a little about the church. She asked, and I was asked this alot during our time in the Army, if not drinking was hard for me. My answer was always the same. No, it's actually quite easy. I love the Lord, and I beleive the Lord has asked me not to do these things, so I don't. It's that simple. Because I love him, it's easy to follow what he asks me to do. (Not that I'm perfect, it's just that this is something I don't struggle with)

President Uchtdorf says, "God the Eternal Father did not give that first great commandment because He needs us to love Him. His power and glory are not diminished should we disregard, deny, or even defile His name. His influence and dominion extend through time and space independent of our acceptance, approval, or admiration.

No, God does not need us to love Him. But oh, how we need to love God!

For what we love determines what we seek.

What we seek determines what we think and do.

What we think and do determines who we are—and who we will become.

We are created in the image of our heavenly parents; we are God’s spirit children. Therefore, we have a vast capacity for love—it is part of our spiritual heritage. What and how we love not only defines us as individuals; it also defines us as a church. Love is the defining characteristic of a disciple of Christ.

Since the beginning of time, love has been the source of both the highest bliss and the heaviest burdens. At the heart of misery from the days of Adam until today, you will find the love of wrong things. And at the heart of joy, you will find the love of good things.

And the greatest of all good things is God."

Heavenly Father has given us so much. Summarizing Pres. Uchtdorf’s words, Through Heavenly Father’s direction, Jesus Christ created this beautiful world that we live in. He fills our lives with so much joy, fills our minds with such precious truths, gives us hope and peace during our darkest hours, leads us through our times of trial, rejoices with us when we rejoice, and answers our righteous desires. He has promised us eternal life, and has provided a way for us to progress in this life and in knowledge and glory until we receive a fullness of joy. He has promised us all that he has. If that isn’t enough reason to love Heavenly father, the Apostle John puts it simply, in 1 John 4:19 We love him, because he first loved us.

So why? Why does he love us? With all our faults, why? Pres. Uchtdorf says, "He loves us, because he is filled with and infinite measure of holy, pure, an indescribable love. Think of the purest, most all consuming love you can imagine. Now multiply that love by an infinite amount- that, is the measure of God’s love for you."

He doesn’t care how much money you make or don’t make, how big or small your house is, how nice your car is or whether you ride the bus or walk to work. He doesn’t care if we’re famous or forgotten. Pres. Uchtdorf puts it best when he says, “Though we are incomplete, God loves us completely. Though we are imperfect, he loves us perfectly. Though we may feel lost and without compass, God’s love, emcompasses us completely. He loves everyone of us, even those who are flawed, rejected, awkward, sorrowful, or broken. His love is so great that he loves even the proud, the selfish, the arrogant, and the wicked.”

So what do we do if we feel we don’t deserve his love? Or we don’t feel him around us? In Jeremiah 29:13 it says “And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.” That is the key, when seek him, we must seek him with all our hearts.

Pres. Uchtdorf goes on to say, "Seeking God with all our hearts implies much more than simply offering a prayer or pronouncing a few words inviting God into our lives. “For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments.” We can make a great production of saying that we know God. We can proclaim publicly that we love Him. Nevertheless, if we don’t obey Him, all is in vain, for “he that saith, I know him, and keepeth not his commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him.”.... Don’t get discouraged if you stumble at times. Don’t feel downcast or despair if you don’t feel worthy to be a disciple of Christ at all times. The first step to walking in righteousness is simply to try. We must try to believe. Try to learn of God: read the scriptures; study the words of His latter-day prophets; choose to listen to the Father, and do the things He asks of us. Try and keep on trying until that which seems difficult becomes possible—and that which seems only possible becomes habit and a real part of you..... As you reach out to your Heavenly Father, as you pray to Him in the name of Christ, He will answer you. He speaks to us everywhere.

As you read God’s word recorded in the scriptures, listen for His voice.

As you visit the temple and attend Church meetings, listen for His voice.

In your daily interactions with others, in the words of a hymn, in the laughter of a child, listen for His voice."

I used to wonder why it is that I can’t have more children. I was able to have my daughter, so why couldn’t I give my husband a child. Did I do something to deserve not being able to have children? I constantly remind myself, that I did nothing wrong, Heavenly Father just has a different plan for me. As I listened to Pres. Uchtdorf’s talk in conference, and again as I read his words in the Ensign I was reminded how much he loves each and every one of us. How much he loves me, and how he has a plan for everything. We are so blessed to be able to be a part of the adoption world. Even though we haven't been chosen by a birth family yet, I have faith, that someday, his plan will be made known, and we will be chosen, and we will have the chance to raise our miracle baby. Not to mention, already I have made some amazing friends in all parts of the adoption triad, and I can’t wait to see what the future brings us.

I'd like to close with one final thought from President Uchtdorf, he says, and this is perhaps my favorite part,

"How clearly the Savior spoke when He said that every other commandment hangs upon the principle of love. If we truly learn to love our Heavenly Father and our fellowman with all our heart, soul, and mind—all else will fall into place."

A Birth Mom's Journey: Joniece's story, my letter to you.

A few weeks ago mrs. r posted a letter on her blog written by her youngest sons birth mom. It is a beautifully written letter and I wanted to share it. My hope is that if you are an unexpectant, expectant mother, that this may help you in your decision making. Thank you Joniece for your beautiful words and for sharing your story in such a heart felt way.

Dear "un-expecting" expecting mother,

I remember the day like it was yesterday.. I was on my knees sobbing repeating "My life is over." Nothing else was going through my mind at that point, other than the fact that I didn't believe what had happened... It was the day I found out I was pregnant. I was 18 years old, in school, and jobless. I was not even in an "actual" relationship with the birth-father at the time. "OH MY GOSH."

Adoption was never an option for me at first. It was an all or nothing type deal for me. Either I kept him or I was going to abort him. Afterall, there was no way I could have my child out there being raised by others. However, I couldn't tell my father.. It would upset and dissapoint him way to much. I was so confused on what to do! Not to mention my ex-boyfriend wasn't the most supportive... He begged me to get an abortion at first. And that my friend, is what I had planned on doing. Abortion... it was the only logical and easiest choice for everyone involved. Keeping in mind, I was raised and still am a catholic and that is against my religion... But really what other choice did I have.

I urge speaking to someone whose advice you trust greatly, whether it be a friend or a family member. I spoke to my best friend Chris. We had been best friends since 11yrs old and he always knew what to say, although this time.. he didn't really. He was sort of in shock... I honestly thought he would stop talking to me because of the choice I had made, but he didn't.. he assured me he loved me and wouldn't stop being my friend. He asked me what I was going to do and I told him I had no Idea, but was thinking about abortion. He told me he didn't agree with that option but would love me no matter what. Chris then told me about how his brother and sister-n-law had adopted and she could give me more information about it. ( I knew this beforehand as well) I told him okay, but honestly still shrugged off the idea of adoption. The main thing I got from our conversation is, "he told me to pray, just pray for the answer." And i did exactly this. I prayed for god to give me the answer to what I was supposed to do and make it clear to me.. Within the next couple of day I could see his answer start to un-ravel. I no longer wanted an abortion.

My ex and I had decided to parent without being in a relationship and just share responsibilities. How sad was this? My baby was going to not only be raised in a broken home, but born into one. I could deal with that fact at the time though. My relationship or lack-thereof with my ex was horrible. Before and during my pregnancy there were encounters that went from verbal arguements and abuse to physical. This was the deal breaker for me.

I could handle my baby being born to parents who were not together, but I would not stand for him being born and part of an abusive family. I then made the hardest decision I've ever made.. Parenting was not the option for my baby & I. I wanted him to grow up in a loving and nurturing family. One who would read together, sing together, pray together, eat together and overall love together. That was the important thing..LOVE. I wanted him to have it all because of how much I already loved him. Not that my family couldn't love him or didn't do those things.. I ASSURE you they wanted him just as much as I did. But it was about him.. and his parents.. and siblings and his life. I mean this is not just a choice for when he is a baby. It's making a choice for his WHOLE life, the life I wanted him to lead while on earth.

Adoption made this possible. I made it possible.

I'm not going to sugar coat it and tell you all of it is rainbows and butterflies, because it wasn't and still isn't a year plus later. It's hard. VERY hard. The hardest thing I've ever done. But it was MY choice. and it was the RIGHT choice for my baby & I.

That's all I want you to get out of this, it is YOUR choice. No one else's. (I REPEAT "NO ONE ELSE's") You are the only one carrying your baby. I can't sit here and say adoption is the right choice for every single person, every single scenario. But I want you to know it is an option and a good one at that. I wish you the best of luck in your journey.

"No choice you make for yourself, is the wrong choice"- Sal Loya ( a very wise man *wink*)

YOU ARE STRONG.

just remember this.

it is what got me by.

Sincerely,
Joniece
ps.

If you ever need to talk about anything or have any questions PLEASE PLEASE email me at
loyjoniece@aol.com. It's available 24/7 haha.

Go Here to read Joniece's original post on her blog.

Adoption Photography

One of my passions is photography. I love it. I love being able to capture memories. One of my favorite types of photography is adoption photography. Today I wanted to highlight some of my favorite photographers that have done, or do adoption photography.

First there is the very first one I ever saw. Kati from Priceless Impressions in Utah did some amazing photography for Sara and Issac when they adopted their baby girl Hazel. Seriously gorgeous images such as Hazel's First Days and their sealing.

Next we have Speckled Bird Art in Nevada. This one was brought to my attention by mrs. r. Jessie, the photographer for Speckled Bird Art went with her friends to India when they adopted their little girl and captured every wonderful, beautiful moment.

Next we have Tonja Day with Tonja Day Photography in Utah. Tonja is the aunt of Que and Brittany's precious Liam's birth mom. Seriously, if you haven't seen her stunning images yet, you have to.

And last but not least, I wanted to tell you about a website called Celebrating Adoption. This website features adoption photographers in just about every state. So if you are looking for one in your state, be sure to check out this site.

The Site For Birth Mothers By Birth Mothers

A few months ago on Adoption Voices I saw a post by a woman named Jessa who placed her daughter for adoption a year ago. She started a website called "The Site For Birthmothers, By Birthmothers".


As a hopeful adoptive mom I have a great love for Birth Mother's and the sacrifice they make for their precious little ones. Part of the reason we chose the agency we chose is because LDS Family Services has an amazing Birth Mother Support Program which includes Support Groups where you can talk to, get to know, and become friends with other Birth Mom's who know what it is you are going through. Because lets face it, no matter how much someone may love you, they don't know what you're going through unless they went through it too.

This is Jessa's reasoning behind her site. There are several birth mom's who share their journeys and answer questions from other woman who are faced with an unexpected pregnancy and aren't sure what to do.

If you or someone you know is placed with an unexpected pregnancy and have questions about adoption, contact The Site For Birthmothers By Birthmothers at their email address birthmothers4adoption@gmail.com.