Waiting.......

Adoption is full of waiting. Waiting to be approved, waiting to be chosen, waiting for baby to come, waiting for placement.....

Right now, we're waiting....... Waiting for a phone call...... Emily is almost 6 months old. She will be 6 months next Wednesday, so in just over a week. In our state you can finalize your adoption after 6 months of the child being in your home. Even though our adoption is a family member adoption, we still are required to wait 6 months. Any day now we should be getting a call with our finalization date at the courts. I'm getting anxious. Trying to keep myself busy. Our cousin adopted a baby boy last year. She said to keep ourselves busy because the waiting will drive us crazy. Jacob is busy with work, school, the reserves, his church calling, our latest home improvement project. Me? I'm plenty busy. Tamara is starting driver's ed tomorrow (well, today actually since it 2a.m. on Tuesday), and she's joining the track team at her school. So I'm busy with all of that, plus Emily is growing so much. I'm busy with church callings (yes, I said callings, I have a few), making cakes and other things for various committments I have, helping to plan the adoption retreat in March, and so many other things, but yet, some how, that phone call is all I can think about.

I am in no way complaining. So many I know are still waiting for the phone call that they have been chosen. And if it weren't for Kristina, I have no doubt we would still be waiting as well. I have other friends whose babies were born after Emily, as in a month + after her. But they have their court date already. We have a fabulous lawyer, so it is in no way his fault that we don't have our date yet. The circumstances with Emily's birthfather are different, so that took some extra paperwork on our lawyers part. Who knows why we are still waiting. The scenerios are whats getting to me. Wondering if something went wrong. We are so close to Emily officially becoming ours. I didn't think it would matter to me. To me, she has always been our daughter. I thought it would just be paperwork. No big deal. The closer we get though, the more anxious I am. The more I am realizing it does matter. It matters a whole lot. It is a big deal. Like I said, to me, she has been my daughter, and I her mother. But to have the law recognize that.... It. is. a. big. deal. But, I still worry.... Until we are in court and the judge signs the papers, I think I will continue to worry. That's just who I am. And so..... we wait......